Burglers are never prepared to battle eggbeaters. —Steph 7/30/01
My pants are a no-plum-pit area. —Tom 9/12/01
What can I say? I'm a horny, contrarywise, sex oriented phallocentric bastard sometimes, and I like it. — Tom 9/29/02
Right. What I'm questioning is your definition of duck. -Tom 10/18/02
Pyro1cynic: yes but it's the WOO at the end which gets me
Pyro1cynic: you try paying for five usable human corpses
NitWit005: *huggles*
KciRahS: i can be called "lack of vocabulary man"
agentfox001: dumb school rocks man!
Pyro1cynic: your lucky you can have you in a bed
Pyro1cynic: I'm stuck with me
NitWit005: got to clean the math off me…
agentfox001: mmmm opium
agentfox001: the late-night snack of champions
Tuch4355: its just too damn early in the week to explain the fall of man to god
Tuch4355: … as if mid terms weren't enough
KciRahS: lets play who can stick to the ceiling
Tuch4355: oh your moving up in your cardboard substitutes i see
NitWit005: if you are willing to pay for the plane ticket
NitWit005: remember
NitWit005: I'm always avalible for sabotage
Several times an hour I have to deal with having someone else's (usually crappy) music imposed on me. Why? Because these fucking kids drive up in their beamers, blasting shitty ass music at levels high enough to draw attention to their custom sound systems. Their music is loud enough that projecting it to bystanders is obviously the intention. What the fuck? Do you think people are going to hear your rap or your pop-punk and think you're cool? No! Blasting music is not going to create a party everywhere you go! The people who you force your music upon are not going to think you "cool" or "fly," but are going to realize you are an immature, inconsiderate fuck who keeps me from doing my math homework, and whose car will gets its paint fucked up when my roommate is using the only bathroom in the house and I have to pee outside anyway. —From Daniel's away message
EternalFootman: aww, no more andi-music without interference from janet-music. oh well.
Tuch4355: just make volume(andi-music) » volume(janet-music)
Tuch4355: or just janet-music.off()
EternalFootman: but see, janet-music.off() will automatically run janet.kill()
EternalFootman: and that's not pretty
Tuch4355: now is that janet.kill(andi) or janet.kill(janet)
EternalFootman: janet.kill(andi) specifically
Tuch4355: or maybe the second one would throw an exception anyway
EternalFootman: yeah i think it would
Tuch4355: just counter with andi.kill.drunkenboxing(janet)
EternalFootman: not finished with that one yet though
Tuch4355: your still at the andi.learn(drunkenboxing) phase
EternalFootman: yeah
streetrock21: i'm eating cereal out of my drawer
Pyro1cynic: the wrath of god has gone way down hill
NitWit005: what's the point if you can't succumb to evil?
From Tom's away message:
"on a side note it's really annoying that my clothes keep getting smaller"
Pyro1cynic: ah lazy masochist…..
Pyro1cynic: "I'd whip you but……eh"
Morpheus08543: brb…gonna wash hands
Morpheus08543: back
Pyro1cynic: ………..your masturbating while talking to me aren't you
Morpheus08543: well…usually…but tonight I just came back from fencing
NitWit005: ah don't fret, I don't understand half of what I type into AIM
Pyro1cynic: everyone knows Jesus never used periods Let alone semicolons
NitWit005: Well, I don't follow the way of Christ. When confronted with a decision I think: "What would Shiva do?". The answer usualy involves dancing, sleeping with cowherdesses or destroying the universe. It works pretty well.
KciRahS (12:37:30 AM): were ready to waste your money
Tuch4355 (12:37:29 AM): we're gonna initiate plan take all your money now
Tuch4355: convene at the university center
Tuch4355: BREAK
Pyro1cynic: dammit my other holy pair of pants are too small for me
EternalFootman: guess i'm not up on my knowledge of my own gender.
Pyro1cynic: knowing you? not entirely surprising
Pyro1cynic: I flatly deny your blatantly true statement
Tuch4355: i speak french
Tuch4355: riiibbit ribbit ribbeeeett
Tuch4355: see
Tuch4355: you get that
Tuch4355: it said french sucks
agentfox001: uh
agentfox001: stop thinking
agentfox001: its making my head hurt
NitWit005: I have now aquired the email moc.ecitsuj|sdneirfrepus#moc.ecitsuj|sdneirfrepus and I only had to pretend I passed the Sonoma county bar exam to get it…
NitWit005: now to find the UN website and offer superman's assistance
Pyro1cynic: so my two identifying characteristics are hunger and love of puns?
Pyro1cynic: why do you date me?
Pyro1cynic: my beating strategy is highly elaborate
Pyro1cynic: involving a bat, several drugs, and a little device we just call
Pyro1cynic: Mr. thingy
NitWit005: …
NitWit005: you have been around andi too much for your own good
Pyro1cynic: bla bla bla
EternalFootman: you. come. eat.
KciRahS: me?
EternalFootman: no, my invisible friend bob who happens to like living in your closet and using your computer when you're away
Andi (while hugging Tom): Open-faced Tomwich!
Pyro1cynic: and a new futurama is mine
NitWit005:
NitWit005: I made my response in modern art
NitWit005: feel free to interpret
juicyfruit1702: so can you like step me through the whole kazaa thing
juicyfruit1702: im still confused
EternalFootman: uhhh
EternalFootman: can we do this when my brain is *not* dripping out of my ear?
juicyfruit1702: heh
juicyfruit1702: no.
Tuch4355: cause i didn;t there was but i was but i wasn't posititve
EternalFootman: you should combine lab speak with 1337
Pyro1cynic: that is perhaps the most brilliant idea ever
EternalFootman: |<010r|\/|37r1|< 4224y p\/\/nz!!1
NitWit005: "book"
NitWit005: < reading
Pyro1cynic: you're a book
NitWit005: yes
NitWit005: I'm a book
Pyro1cynic: I'm glad we agree
NitWit005: now I'm really tempted to say "and I ask all the girls to read me" but I'm not sure what that would mean
Pyro1cynic: just make yourself brail
Pyro1cynic: <——an expert at sexual innuendo
Pyro1cynic: <collapses into a pile of non-academic goo>
NitWit005: that was quite a poke, it injured me when Tom quoted it
NitWit005: collateral pokage perhaps…
Pyro1cynic: I'm positive there is a prototype space ninja on mir
CalMyungk: see? that's why you leave that up to vatican trained professionals….
CalMyungk: Or battle nuns.
CalMyungk: Lesbian puppetry is a huge turn on, though.
NitWit005: so I loaded up thief briefly to show a friend… I ate an apple behind a guard to show said friend how it revealed you were there but instead the guard ran off of a ledge and died
NitWit005: we both agreed that more apples would probably be a good idea
Pyro1cynic: of course I tend to view most things that get andi off (or have the potential too) as freaking genius
EternalFootman: woohoo! tom finally admits his intelligence!!!
Pyro1cynic: it's specifically for bio majors
Pyro1cynic: meaning "goddammit I just want to study fuzzy things!" people
Pyro1cynic: as I had a small dinner and no lunch and a small breakfast so if i don't sleep soon I'm going to get hungry and all hell will break loose
EternalFootman: <shudders at thought of a hungry tom>
Pyro1cynic: I should be like the dragon that haunts a village
Pyro1cynic: demanding monthly virgins and lots of food…..
Pyro1cynic: damn that'd be a sweet gig
Pyro1cynic: till the knight showed up
Pyro1cynic: I blame munchkins
Pyro1cynic: the penguin stole my mind for a bit…
Pyro1cynic: it's all been down hill since that one "huggles" comment….
EternalFootman: why yes, i am quite a limber pope
EternalFootman: hey
EternalFootman: random question—
EternalFootman: what's weather like here in march?
KciRahS: random answer
KciRahS: fresh out of cheese
NitWit005: well, I'm going to conquer Europe
NitWit005: so tell me
NitWit005: Germany or Portugal?
NitWit005: sorry, I must cease this midget discussion to go to class
Pyro1cynic: some academic you are
agentfox001: btw
agentfox001: i killed tom
EternalFootman: d'oh!
EternalFootman: stephy no kill tom. my tom. mine!
agentfox001: its ok hes alive now
EternalFootman: ok good
EternalFootman: and not a zombie?
agentfox001: well
agentfox001: dunno about that
EternalFootman: zombies aren't very good for sex. they just wanna eat brains all the time…
EternalFootman: not that i'd know… or anything… <looks away>
EternalFootman: oo, i've always wanted to start a jihad of my very own
From Steph's away message: "writing an essay….for math….about JANET JACKSON……"
Pyro1cynic: <pulls his tinfoil helmet more securely around his head>
EternalFootman: they need a grinning hobo emoticon…
NitWit005: well, my prof is apparently nuts
NitWit005: this program throws the following errors:
Exception of type std::runtime_error with value: what a lovely day
Exception of type myexception with value: the rain in spain stains mainly drains
Exception type unknown.Exception of type string with value: he who shampoos rabbits grows long hares
Pyro1cynic: you think my girlfriend is a devourer of worlds too?
Pyro1cynic (to Andi): you need less drugs
Pyro1cynic: or more
Pyro1cynic:
chem, cell bio, stats, psych
work to be done, Indolence
Laziness is ZEN
Pyro1cynic: is it wrong that the image of my girlfriend giggling fills me with fear?
NitWit005: <giggles>
NitWit005: yes
From Scott's away message:
if (Scott.midterm.time( ) == "8 AM")
{
while (1)
{
Scott.Bang_head_on_desk();
}
}
NitWit005: but its my place as a person in a higher class than you to look down in scorn
EternalFootman: true
EternalFootman: very true
EternalFootman: sometimes i forget my place <bows>
NitWit005: that is so much scarier than anything else you could possibly do…
NitWit005: <runs like hell>
Pyro1cynic: few things are more satisfying than loud bangs that end with candy
Pyro1cynic: so anyway, I'm gonna go rough up some laundry ladies for protection money
Pyro1cynic: I am so stabbing you
NitWit005: go away so I can do math
NitWit005: get out of my magic box!!!
Pyro1cynic: <overdoses on irony and dies>
From Adam's profile:
"The actual title to Connor's world history paper:
A Christian, a Muslim, and a Jew walk into a bar…"
Tuch4355: proofs involving laplace transforms … oh baby
KciRahS: do those make you wet?
Tuch4355: you know it
NitWit005: and we all know what the ultimate form of diplomacy is…
NitWit005: ping pong!
NitWit005: every month I will pay you exactly this amount:
int payoff = 0;
payoff—;
EternalFootman: d'oh!
NitWit005: should have asked for an unsigned payoff
NitWit005: what will they think up next?
Pyro1cynic: ….hopefully suicide booths
NitWit005:
/*
void do_something(variables)
precondition:
blah blah blah
postcondition:
blah blah blah iterator blah
*/
NitWit005: but college is all about learning to take kicks to the groin without flinching
Pyro1cynic (To Scott): I'm training you to be a supersoldier
Pyro1cynic: you're the good example in this relationship dammit!
Pyro1cynic: stab the sun
NitWit005: based off of the temperature its at least… six feet from me. I'm not walking that far
streetrock21: this would be where i slap u
Pyro1cynic: go for it
streetrock21: how i wish i could
streetrock21: invent a permeable screen for me
streetrock21: i'll make the fist go thru the net on sheer will alone
streetrock21: but the monkey tells me to do these things
streetrock21: not my fault
streetrock21: its all the italian monkey
NitWit005: stupid induction…
NitWit005: stupid math…
NitWit005: stupid lack of brain power…
NitWit005: stupid essay due in… oh shit…
From Greg's away message:
"be in awe of my 200 lb bench, for it is non-functional and leaves me with massive man-breasts."
CalMyungk: lol.. yes… I broke the encryption on your pizza and highjacked it.
CalMyungk: I'm currently enjoying your combination with sausage. the other half should download in about 2 minutes.
NitWit005: you never believe me! (with good reason)
Pyro1cynic: I am a stereotype
Pyro1cynic: now GO! GO my friend! and spread the righteous word of…….CTHULU!
Pyro1cynic: damn you apostrophe! you haunt me at every turn!
Pyro1cynic: my aptitude for ineptitude is beyond belief…..itude
Pyro1cynic: you can tell them I would eat both of them
Pyro1cynic: in a macrophage esque sort of way
Pyro1cynic: you think a paranoid anarchist bald man like myself is unarmed?
Pyro1cynic: I mean…..I neither confirm nor deny that I am armed
NitWit005: Devilman TV < you have a cartoon?!?
Pyro1cynic: well I….don't like to brag
EternalFootman: cookies? <offers bag>
KciRahS: <hits hand on screen as he tries to grab the bag>
KciRahS: there seems to be some kind of force field preventing me
NitWit005: "divisible by four bitch! what! what! you can't handle this bitch" Mondo is the best math major… at least in entertainment value
CalMyungk: lol
CalMyungk: Getting personal with the math
Pyro1cynic: tom simply doesn't know anything about the subject and so decided to be quiet
EternalFootman: ah, ok then
Pyro1cynic: especially since he's right about the effects of arabinogalactan on the cytotoxicity of thyglycollate induced peritoneal macrophages against WEHI 164 tumor cells
NitWit005: that smile will haunt my dreams
NitWit005: said dreams will also likely involve bannanas
NitWit005: well, prison is a cuter place now
NitWit005: poor hulky wulky
Pyro1cynic: so your logical phallacy is a product of semantics
Pyro1cynic: fallacy
NitWit005: you can do it Hulk! I mean Brave Little Toaster I mean Dumbo… I mean Tom
NitWit005: I did however understand that the heavily armed nun was siding with the demons (I can see you in this role)
EternalFootman: O:-)
NitWit005: that looks like it has a sailor hat
EternalFootman: halo.
NitWit005: but next halloween think: Nun with machine gun
EternalFootman: think i could pull off witch hunter robin?
NitWit005: phh, everyone with just think you're a goth
EternalFootman: …and?
NitWit005: while a nun with a machine gun is totaly origional
EternalFootman: hmm
NitWit005: you could also be goth and be a nun with a machine gun
EternalFootman: hmmmmm
NitWit005: but that would take more work
EternalFootman: see, i'd want to make some alterations to the traditional nun habit
NitWit005: what modification to the traditional habit is needed besides a machine gun?
EternalFootman: well… it's just so… concealing
EternalFootman: O:-)O:-)O:-)
NitWit005: <agrees completely on general principles>
EternalFootman: hehehe
NitWit005: dress up Tom as something and have him on a leash
NitWit005: that would eliminate any possible element of modesty
EternalFootman: dunno that he'd like that much
EternalFootman: although he would make a good cave troll…
EternalFootman: :-P
NitWit005: < laughing
EternalFootman: :-D
NitWit005: how about dressing up as an inquisitor?
NitWit005: that would be good
NitWit005: and you could use it as a ren-fair outfit too
EternalFootman: hehehe
EternalFootman: hmm
NitWit005: as well as allowing bloodstains
NitWit005: and letting you… inquisit
EternalFootman: hehe
EternalFootman: inquire
NitWit005: phh, sounds too much like it doesn't involve torture
EternalFootman: hmmmm
NitWit005: actualy the whole inquisitor thing has the advantage that if Tom just wears his normal clothes he'll be able to pass as a ragged impovrished Spanish peasent if you give him a torch
EternalFootman: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
NitWit005: O:-)
NitWit005: I dunno usualy the only single word sentences that Tom uses when chatting with me are insults
EternalFootman: the universe wants to play, man
Pyro1cynic: the universe needs to pick a less disturbing and frightening game
Pyro1cynic: like "Sorry" or "Monopoly"
NitWit005: he's like twice as inteligent as normal when he's being sarcastic
NitWit005: and god why do I misspell words that have to do with thinking…
Morpheus08543: doing laundry is almost as good as killing people
NitWit005: and by sounding like you, I was mostly reffering to the carrying/eating of the heffer
Pyro1cynic: I figured
NitWit005: but you might be able to kill a cow in a single blow
Pyro1cynic: …………with an axe
NitWit005: given some ninja-anti-heffer training
EternalFootman: insanity = happiness
NitWit005: yopuaomioautherfucicker is unique
NitWit005: but still nicely readable
Pyro1cynic: barely
NitWit005: I may have banged a few extra keys
Pyro1cynic: …….wow
Pyro1cynic: that was off the sarcasmomometer
RepressedAtCMU: oh man
RepressedAtCMU: that would be a blackmail pic made in heaven
NitWit005: woops… broke off a piece of the table in the lab…
NitWit005: <pretends nothing happened and tosses in trash>
NitWit005: <hums innocently>
NitWit005: oh btw…
NitWit005: your sister (I lack the quote)
NitWit005: "pimp kissed me"
Pyro1cynic: ……………
Pyro1cynic: holy zombie jesus
Pyro1cynic: oh wait
Pyro1cynic: yeah she did that to me too
Pyro1cynic: then i went to sleep
NitWit005: I hereby deem it "ahh fuck it" O-clock and shall cease reading
NitWit005: I dunno Myung…
NitWit005: one day… you might <silence> teach for a living
CalMyungk: lol… that… would be scary
NitWit005: I dunno… this sounds like a dignified teaching job
NitWit005: you'll get to hang aroun the teachers lounge
CalMyungk: lol… finally get some of those cookies
agentfox001: i think i need the power of unbaked bread for this…..
NitWit005: without your immoral support I never would have made it
Milkman317: im far too lazy
Milkman317: dude i havent moved from matts couch today
Milkman317: i slept on it
Milkman317: woke up
Milkman317: sat on it
Milkman317: and have been here since
Pyro1cynic: DEATH TO CONGER FOR NO PARTICULAR REASON!!
Auto response from NitWit005: lunch
NitWit005: I'm touched
Pyro1cynic: if by touched you mean strangled
Pyro1cynic: then good
NitWit005: no
Pyro1cynic: then I hate you
Auto response from NitWit005: not here (just to annoy Tom)
Pyro1cynic: DAMN YOU CONGER!
Pyro1cynic: GOD DAMN YOU BRAIN!
NitWit005: poor Tom…
Tom's Brain: fuck you both <takes a swig of vodka>
EternalFootman: not sure if it's the best idea to let your brain have vodka directly…
Pyro1cynic: hey i didn't even know the bastard was there
Pyro1cynic: I assumed he was on vacation
Pyro1cynic: your insanity is showing
Pyro1cynic: <-proof that the male psyche is a sexual loop
Pyro1cynic: my will is the supreme dictator of the universe
Pyro1cynic: at least on my good days
RepressedAtCMU: i'd say i'm a big fan of a knee between the legs, but i'm not
Tuch4355: dizamn girl
Pyro1cynic: <hits scott with immeasurable force>
NitWit005: wow!
NitWit005: I couldn't measure it!
NitWit005: or the computer ate them
Pyro1cynic: lol
Pyro1cynic: " WINDOWS 95 HUNGRY!!!"
NitWit005: so that's why my computer hates me
NitWit005: it wants to eat me but can't…
Pyro1cynic: I know it's why I hate you
Pyro1cynic: your phonetics can suck it
NitWit005: hooked on phonics might…
NitWit005: they always seem to be into whoring themselves
Pyro1cynic: I'm not interested unless they are beautiful women
Pyro1cynic: your phonetics can suck it
Pyro1cynic: fuck you
NitWit005: this seems to contradict earlier sentiment
Pyro1cynic: my past statements are invalid evidence in court
NitWit005: Pyro1cynic: my past statements are invalid evidence in court
NitWit005: Pyro1cynic: my past statements are invalid evidence in court
NitWit005: Pyro1cynic: my past statements are invalid evidence in court
Pyro1cynic: LOL
NitWit005: I'm not sure what that was supposed to mean
NitWit005: but it was ironic
Pyro1cynic: You did something I told you too!!!!!
NitWit005: god, you're ruining my rep
NitWit005:
Pyro1cynic: hmm blank message
NitWit005:
Pyro1cynic: I shall interpret this to mean that scott is giving me his life savings
Pyro1cynic: that's very kind of you conger
NitWit005: It takes two hands to eat cake man!
Pyro1cynic: best…. qoute….ever….<dies of laughter/bliss>
Pyro1cynic: glad to know I'm not the only one confused about your confusion
Pyro1cynic: I would cause you extreme physical pain if I was there
Pyro1cynic: since I am not
Pyro1cynic: I ask you to step in as a double for myself
NitWit005: what were we talking about now? ooo jelly beans…
Pyro1cynic: reality is sometimes harsh and unpleasant
EternalFootman: and squished…
Pyro1cynic: yes but that part is fun
EternalFootman: <adds to quote list>
Pyro1cynic: <squishes andi>
Pyro1cynic: I know nothing
NitWit005: I've noticed that
Pyro1cynic: you what?
NitWit005: I crashed my brothers car into a Yak, you heard me
Pyro1cynic: amen
Paxson510: you are a conjunction heathen
Pyro1cynic: I shall follow in the steps of our great Governator
Pyro1cynic: it's what I do for a living
Pyro1cynic: intellectual masturbation at other peoples expense
Pyro1cynic: sort of an abstract intellectual facial
streetrock21: i want u to never ever ever say that again
NitWit005: random but related thought… whoever thought up the saying "its the exception that proves the rule" was the greatest bullshitter of all time
Pyro1cynic: <——just found a school wide e-mail from an administrator called " Nudity and Admission Tours"
Pyro1cynic: but schizophrenia is sort of like the ultimate hangover
agentfox001: my dog ate a rock today
agentfox001: and i was jealous
agentfox001: do u know how cheap my food bills would be if i could just eat rocks?
Pyro1cynic: AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHA
agentfox001: then again, with enough ketchup i probably could. but then you have to pay for ketchup…..
agentfox001: being stabbed is not a bad thing
agentfox001: depending on where it is
i8piggo: Mutilation: bad
Kidney Eating: bad
Multiple Sequels: bad
Induce Ruffians to Swallow Own Tongues: good
Poignant Insight into Human Condition: good
Follow Up Poignant Insight with Slurping Noises: good
CalMyungk: well, I'm off to build phear bot
CalMyungk: Today we will be building his simple yet ph34rs0m brains.
EternalFootman: hmm. interesting. the room smells like fish. very much like fish.
Pyro1cynic: I blame the social constructionists
NitWit005: today I offended someone by saying "Holy Antichrist!"
Pyro1cynic: <runs away with his delusions intact>
RepressedAtCMU: nnaot tootmcuuhccch fcacfffinnen forror mememe tototoday
EternalFootman: you. tell your words to stop vibrating.
RepressedAtCMU: btubb thhteyeyy'r're maakingn mee oddoing it
Pyro1cynic: if I were there I would hit you
EternalFootman: :-D
Pyro1cynic: I was unaware that me hitting you would make you happy
Pyro1cynic: I shall remember this for the future
Pyro1cynic: how in holy fucking hell are you going to use a defibrilator for sex…..
Paxson510: not for sex, for fun
CalMyungk: Hey, I can't help my otaku nature…
CalMyungk: *goes and buys more dvds*
Pyro1cynic: i think I might actually transform into the hulk if i lost a paper to a computer crash…
Pyro1cynic: I've got a get out of hell free pass
CalMyungk: Getting the shit kicked out of you never looked so good
Pyro1cynic: Tom Lehrer good
NitWit005: the fact that your sentence implys the opposite could theoreticaly be true disgusts me
Pyro1cynic: you need to learn to be that funny on command
NitWit005: I am, I just don't like you much
NitWit005: *sigh* its so hard to be a figure of abject fear these days
Morpheus08543: YEAH!!! DEATH TO BIO!!!
Morpheus08543: I HATE EVOLUTION SO MUCH RIGHT NOW!!
Pyro1cynic: CUT OFF YOUR THUMBS IN PROTEST!
Pyro1cynic: DEATH TO EVOLUTION!!!!
Morpheus08543: YEAH!!! <cuts thumbs>crapnowIcan'thitthespacebar
NitWit005: aww, its nice of you to assume you need a plan to kill me
Pyro1cynic: sleep is for weaklings and good planners
NitWit005: your going to put my soul in the dryer?
NitWit005: *sigh*
NitWit005: I never should have traded it to you for that M&M
Pyro1cynic: actually I'm going to put MY soul in the dryer
Pyro1cynic: in an attempt to reduce my moral conscience
NitWit005: oh
NitWit005: is that possible?
NitWit005: won't it bend light or something?
Pyro1cynic: you say that like it's a bad thing
Pyro1cynic: if I get it small enough my moral conscience will double as a cloak of invisibility
Pyro1cynic: I expect math to involve drunk people in some manner. Drunkenness is the only plausible explanation of math
NitWit005: yes, someone asked me what the Spinach was for
EternalFootman: well it does have some pretty evil & dangerous properties
NitWit005: it… gives popeye his power?
EternalFootman: well that's canned spinach. its evilness has been captured & minimized in the process of canning, leaving only sweet sweet power
NitWit005: …
NitWit005: you're some sort of vegimancer
EternalFootman: maybe <shoves turnip back into drawer it was trying to crawl out of>
Pyro1cynic (to Andi): your evilness has always been fairly open
Pyro1cynic: I can see it now
NitWit005: <starts writting novel on Tom>
NitWit005: go on
Pyro1cynic: judge: what evidence do you have that the defendant is insane. tom's lawyer: Well your honor before the stabbing occur, let the record show, Mr. Hirst proceed to strip naked and act like a howler monkey, occassionally throwing feces at Ms. Chang. Interspersed in this….debauchery was arguments against the social constructionist perspective.
NitWit005: hahahhaahaha
NitWit005: <wipes tears of happiness from eyes>
Pyro1cynic: it's like One Flew Over the Cuckoo's nest meets Silence of The Lambs
NitWit005: surely, if the police gun you down, you will go to heaven Tom
Pyro1cynic: I intend to write my paper from the constructionist point of view
Pyro1cynic: the first sentence is "Ahdgk dfdtoejrngdfd, fdlifjgjfdndrstms kdfnds a jsdfnoisue zzzzzzzzzz!"
NitWit005: hmm, (reading comic book) I need to get myself a demonic bus…
NitWit005: meh, pooring acid on stuff is cool <does so>
Pyro1cynic: heheheh
NitWit005: poor kitty…
My chem professor was lecturing on acid/base indicators, and was explaning how the change in the chemical structure of the indicator causes it to absorb orange. Someone raises their hand and asks "well then why does it look blue?" Though I slowly shook my head in disgust of disgust, the professor answered the question politely and without condescention. Then someone else raises their hand, and when called on asks "so would it be orange in the dark?" The combination of confidence and stupidity it takes to subject a 450 person lecture hall to such a question boggles the mind, and provides strong anecdotal evidence for the findings of this (http://www.apa.org/journals/psp/psp7761121.html) study.
The moral of the story is: if you're in a doctor's office, and you notice a degree on the wall from UC Santa Cruz, run.
—From Daniel's away message
Pyro1cynic: what do you think?
NitWit005: hmm
NitWit005: hmmm
NitWit005: <has a stroke>
Pyro1cynic: <whacks andi with a large piece of sarcasm>
Pyro1cynic: and suddenly I'm hungry…
EternalFootman: eat a hallmate?
Pyro1cynic: they're on to me
Pyro1cynic: getting harder to catch them unawares
EternalFootman: hmm
EternalFootman: go to another hall?
EternalFootman: bet they'd never suspect
Pyro1cynic: you'd be surprised how fast rumors of cannabilism spreads
EternalFootman: :-)
Pyro1cynic: don't you fucking smilie face me
Pyro1cynic: <stabs his brain>
Pyro1cynic: there problem solved
EternalFootman: wouldn't that be kinda difficult, what with it being protected by a skull and all?
Pyro1cynic: temples
EternalFootman: actually… if you shoved something up your nose i suppose you could…
Pyro1cynic: hehehhe
Pyro1cynic: use a spoon to bend my mind
EternalFootman: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
Pyro1cynic: "there is no brain"
From Tom's away message: "There comes a time in every mans life, when he gives up all hope and goes to sleep for a few hours."
Pyro1cynic: wuss
EternalFootman: <narrows eyes>
Pyro1cynic: you heard me, wuss
EternalFootman: <pounces on tom>
Pyro1cynic: <stands up, grabs andi and tosses her back from whence she came>
Pyro1cynic: <ahem> wuss
EternalFootman: <pokes tom>
Pyro1cynic: <sighs>
Pyro1cynic: <gives andi a wedgie>
EternalFootman: <growls>
Pyro1cynic: you asked for it
Pyro1cynic: <points to sign around andi's neck which requests wedgies>
EternalFootman: it was my dream to have a puffed snack for a friend, and you gave me false hope
Pyro1cynic: what?
Pyro1cynic: sorry I couldn't hear you over the porn
CalMyungk (to Scott): but then again, you tend to have flexible definitions of legitimacy
agentfox001: big words no fuck so good
Pyro1cynic (to Scott): is it true that computer geeks are like leprechauns and if I steal your computer you have to grant me three wishes?
Pyro1cynic: <—-is practically deaf to sound quality
Pyro1cynic: my ears are quantitative not qualitative
NitWit005: I'm surprised my police comment did not give rise to other questions
Pyro1cynic: dude I know who you live with
NitWit005: so I'm a hooker that gives… is that what Ms Claus does on Christmas?
NitWit005: the homework in two of my classes was so similar that I copied problems over and changed the numbers…
agentfox001: NO
agentfox001: stay away
agentfox001: from buzzing
agentfox001: …it usually means its going to explode
agentfox001: or that laundry is done
Pyro1cynic: and I like talking to your away message
Pyro1cynic: it's almost as witty as you and doesn't make fun of me…
EternalFootman: well yeah… i suppose i'd let you sit instead. stomach explodation bad
Pyro1cynic: especially when spelled correctly
Pyro1cynic: I AR3 TEH SOCI@L BUR[)3N!!!!
NitWit005: he's finnaly broken
NitWit005: I'll have to get one of those animal control types to tranquilize him so we can put him out of his misery cleanly
agentfox001: AAHHH NOOO
agentfox001: BOTH OF YOU
agentfox001: CHICKEN SO EVIL
EternalFootman: ??!!
agentfox001: ur buddy icon
EternalFootman: chicken?
agentfox001: uh
agentfox001: check ur buddy icon
agentfox001: its a chicken
EternalFootman: …no its not
agentfox001: yes it is
EternalFootman: how many shrooms have we had today?
agentfox001: not enough
Just call me 'The Sock Beater'. —Connor
Pyro1cynic: oh what I wouldn't give to be able to eat things like a snake….
NitWit005: I was trying to be hookerlike
Pyro1cynic: you don't need to try scott
Pyro1cynic: you're a natural
NitWit005: what calliber gun do I need to kill you?
Connor OM: CONTEXT!!
Connor OM: forgot the context
EternalFootman: bah
EternalFootman: everything's better out of context
Connor OM: your mom is better out of context
EternalFootman: yeah, well i took your mom out of context last night
Connor OM: I'm taking your mom out of context right now!
EternalFootman: i got something out of context right here in my pocket for ya
Connor OM: is it happy to see me?
EternalFootman: you bet it is
Connor OM: ooh…I wonder what it is
EternalFootman: <smacks connor w/ something out of context>
Connor OM: damn you \!
EternalFootman: 8-)
Connor OM: well, I'm going to go take my pants off now and make love to your mom out of context
EternalFootman: <shields eyes> keep the pants on, for the sake of… kittens everywhere
Connor OM: hey, hey
Connor OM: 1. you can't even see me
Connor OM: 2. I replant a kitten for everyone I kill
Connor OM: 3. your mom is hott
Connor OM: esp. out of context
NitWit005: my day just doesn't feel complete without insulting Tom anymore
NitWit005: its addictive I tell you
NitWit005: he should come with an FDA warning
Pyro1cynic: I couldn't live with myself
Pyro1cynic: it would be like urinating on orphans
Pyro1cynic: FORCES OF DARKNESS HEAR MY PRAYERS!!!
NitWit005: sorry, wasn't paying attention
Pyro1cynic: you're plural now?
NitWit005: well… I'm afraid the rest of the forces of darkness went on summer break
NitWit005: I'm also subbing for the forces of mediocracy while they have their annual picnic
NitWit005: *sniff* I'm so glad you associate me with true evil
NitWit005: what good friends I have
Pyro1cynic: tom's underwear are…colors…as well as hulk and scooby doo
NitWit005: sure, you can do my dirty work for me I guess…
Pyro1cynic: yay <skips off to find a knife>
NitWit005: that sentence is just so frightening
Pyro1cynic: I try:-D
EternalFootman: and what the hell is banging around in that attic…
Tuch4355: … didnt anyone tell you that the skeletons go in the closet not the attic
EternalFootman: no, it's not the skeletons, they're all safely tucked away in their closets. zombies, however…
Tuch4355: zombies are a totally different story …
EternalFootman: indeed. <pulls out shotgun>
Tuch4355: … if only it were that easy
EternalFootman: well it does slow them down a bit at least
Tuch4355: but since you're a girl it only slows them down enough so that you can get all your clothes off and half way into the shower before your forced to run from them through the woods for ten minutes then almost survive and have sex then get killed anyway …
NitWit005: so first Myung leaves computer science, and now he's "going out to get some air"…
NitWit005: I don't know him anymore!
Pyro1cynic: the hell are you programming for?
NitWit005: I want to rewrite Mario, but with machine guns
Morpheus08543: a quick question
Morpheus08543: do you want the video of david dressed as a girl or not?
Pyro1cynic: if mutant league football and mutant league hockey have taught us anything
Pyro1cynic: it's that murder and professional sports are not mutually exclusive
EternalFootman: oh well
EternalFootman: guess i'll go
CalMyungk: No no no…
CalMyungk: If it's not your thing, don't go. :-)
CalMyungk: We're not like that, you know that.
Morpheus08543: You have to go!
NitWit005: you know any websites that sell underworld imports?
Pyro1cynic: www.hades.com ?
NitWit005: nah, everything you get from that bastard comes frozen
NitWit005: wow, hades.com is untaken
NitWit005: claim this domain name while you can
Pyro1cynic: because I have a website to put up…..
NitWit005: <slaps Tom>
NitWit005: I demand you fill that domain name
NitWit005: I should be able to type any funny url in and reach a website damn it!
NitWit005: http://www.fuckitall.com/
NitWit005: see?
Pyro1cynic: lol
Pyro1cynic: now be quiet
Pyro1cynic: tom is making a beef sammich
NitWit005: sammich.com is a porn website
NitWit005: you disgust me
Pyro1cynic: well graham is no more
NitWit005: I told him to feed you for safety reasons…
Morpheus08543: tom and andi stopped talking….coincidence I think not
Morpheus08543: get a room!
Pyro1cynic: while you were sleeping I attached a bomb to your heart
Pyro1cynic: just for goofs
NitWit005: meh, I'll just rip it out
NitWit005: *horrible sound*
NitWit005: there we go
Tuch4355: we can even up on the BDSM VACATION
Tuch4355: OF YOUR LIFE
Paxson510: well anyway, it could have been a fun game
Paxson510: but instead its a creepy dating service with a pirate theme
Tuch4355: regular losers dont fit in pods
Pyro1cynic: O chem sucks
Milkman317: i believe that
Milkman317: hense why i laugh at u
Pyro1cynic: the laughing is like 12 M HCl on my soul
Milkman317: okay u know what that means??
Milkman317: TOO MUCH OCHEM!
NitWit005: what metaphysical powers you have
EternalFootman: <sigh> did tom get lost driving home or did you just lose him this time?
NitWit005: *stops digging grave* um… I have no idea
NitWit005: hmm
EternalFootman: that's what they all say
NitWit005: actualy I have a theory that may work
NitWit005: what we do
NitWit005: is we tell Elisabeth to go over to your place
NitWit005: she'll get lost and drive all around
NitWit005: then, when she calls in, ask her if she saw Tom
EternalFootman: oh, and on a side note, http://www.wilenkin.com/transformers/Video_player_06_content.html
Sammy1403: i can learn how to dance from this
"I'm all busted up,
Broken bonds and Bremsstrahlung.
Radiation will happen, and this time I've absorbed some.
It's incident on me, and it's hv = E
Can't you see it's the one
That has me in excited states.
It is ultraviolet? Am I perturbed?
I better emit some energy
In the form of a photon or two.
You know it's hv = E.
For now, I'll lie around.
In my ground state's where I'm found.
Radiation can't touch me
Unless hv = E."
—Song about EM radiation by Andi's chem prof, sang to the tune of Green Day's "Pulling Teeth"
EternalFootman: <grins evilly>
Pyro1cynic: that implies you have another type of grin…..
Pyro1cynic: which I have yet to see
That dog better not eat my monkey or I'm going to be pissed. —Mellie
EternalFootman: i dunno if i'll start using sex as currency just yet…
Tuch4355: you should
EternalFootman: you'd like that, wouldn't you?
Tuch4355: i will use your sex as currency
Tuch4355: thank you for the consent
Tuch4355 is away at 9:07:24 PM.
Pyro1cynic: kill the enemy with non-chalance!
"This marker is making me high….either that or it's the chemistry" - Carl, Tom's o-chem prof
NitWit005: I'm proud to be thought so well of by the future ruler/dominater/destroyer/etc of the Earth
EternalFootman: …but aren't you going to have that title?
EternalFootman: oh shit
EternalFootman: that means we have to duke it out
NitWit005: by duke it out I assume you mean making me the duke of a large provence of some sort
NitWit005: and I completely agree
Pyro1cynic: I encourage you to die a horrible agonizing death the likes of wish normal human beings could not conceive of
Pyro1cynic: toodles
NitWit005: hold on, Tom is threatening me in another window
Pyro1cynic: I think she means for me to pick it up and wield it like a VW hammer
NitWit005: hmm, I think that would work as well as sticking a piece of liver on the side of your head and calling it an external brain pack
Pyro1cynic: yeah but other people….. it's like being in a porn movie
Pyro1cynic: only more degrading
Pyro1cynic: and less profitable…..
Pyro1cynic: fucking consonants
Pyro1cynic: n mr cnsnnts fr m
Pyro1cynic: no wait
Pyro1cynic: those are vowels
Pyro1cynic: fuck!
Pyro1cynic: <ahem> 3@T T#3 B@B13S!!!!!!!!111111
Pyro1cynic: Volks hammer…the peopls hammer…just so good. Sounds like a communist super hero
NitWit005: gah! you can read!
Pyro1cynic: so is my family in your salt mines?
NitWit005: wah?
Pyro1cynic: tom family not here
Pyro1cynic: tom assume scott enslave
Pyro1cynic: generally safe bet
Pyro1cynic: <swallows refridgerator whole>
NitWit005: okay I beat alpha centauri with a 226% rating
CalMyungk: ….
CalMyungk: You are a sick man, Scott. There's help for people like you…
NitWit005: its demonic, its female, it blinks… what more could you want?
NitWit005: no! not the one text file! the text file to rule them all!
Scott's dad: Why are people getting to my webpage with the search word 'cat'?
Scott: ahh… someone really needs to encrypt cats?
Dad: that's it…
Pyro1cynic: I search for cleans and get ben afleck
Pyro1cynic: damn you internet!!!
Pyro1cynic: <whacks andi with something that will make her happy, like a puppy….or since it's you…a whip….or…flail or some such>
Pyro1cynic: hey wherever violence will solve a problem (everywhere) I will be there
Pyro1cynic: having an omnipotent penis would definitely be pretty cool
Pyro1cynic: could use it to overturn cars and such
Pyro1cynic: <this comment has been edited for your viewing pleasure>
EternalFootman: that makes sense…
Pyro1cynic: of course it does <crams logic in to a nearby drawer and locks it >
Pyro1cynic: you laughing at god or me?
EternalFootman: be careful now, don't hurt your omnipotent penis
Pyro1cynic: …………….
Pyro1cynic: I'm going to get that statement tattoed on my chest
Pyro1cynic: but I do think we should bomb japan…to express our christian values
Pyro1cynic: http://geebasonparade.keenspace.com/
NitWit005: mildly amusing
Pyro1cynic: mildly amusing my ass!
NitWit005: yes, you ass is mildly amusing now that you mention it
NitWit005: I knew you would like something that involved friendly neighborhood demons
NitWit005: I'd say something like "touche", except that what you said was stupid
Pyro1cynic: touche
Pyro1cynic: he appears to alternate stupidity and intelligence
Pyro1cynic: sort of a strobe light with an IQ…..
NitWit005: you and your mind control
NitWit005: no wonder Tom is always wearing that tin-foil hat
NitWit005: *drinks some filtered water*
NitWit005: *outsources his evil plan creation to Nepal*
EternalFootman: damn, this lab just has 2 tables and a graph. i like making tables & graphs…
Pyro1cynic: …………………….
Pyro1cynic: you should be a computer when you grow up
Pyro1cynic: SODOMY!!!!!!
Pyro1cynic: BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHHA!
EternalFootman: aww, thank you scott, for judging me worthy of your profile
NitWit005: gah! now I want to put that on there!
NitWit005: cut it out!
NitWit005: you shouldn't worry, a little blackmail and you'll do fine
NitWit005: you beat me to typing something funny damn you!
Pyro1cynic: I need to get my hands on some 12 molar sulfuric
Pyro1cynic: apparently when you pour it on paper it just turns it to graphite
NitWit005: … that is so awesome
NitWit005: can call it "essay be gone" and market it…
Pyro1cynic: lol
Pyro1cynic: "Professor my exam disintegrated. I think its a sign from god"
NitWit005: exactly!
NitWit005: part of it is that we secretly poison you to make your mind fuzzy and laugh when it takes effect
Pyro1cynic: wouldn't that only make me think I'm funnier?
NitWit005: "and laugh when it takes effect"
NitWit005: read that part 5 times
NitWit005: then hit your head on the table
NitWit005: and read it again
Pyro1cynic: ah got it
Pyro1cynic: but I broke the table..
EternalFootman: "Szabo said she expected to be comfortable enough to be able to read or knit while the child was being delivered"
EternalFootman: that woman does not deserve to have a child
NitWit005: most parents don't
EternalFootman: eh. i dunno. i mean, we (meaning us and our friends) turned out pretty good
NitWit005: but so few children get taught the necessary klingon…
NitWit005: *fluffs Andi's hair*
NitWit005: its a super power I've been keeping from you
NitWit005: I can fluff people's hair at any range
NitWit005: I want to… but I'm cheap, poor and… well lets throw in stupid just for good measure
Auto response from Pyro1cynic: Attitude for Gains:
Heavy lifts!
Burning food desire!
Brother love!
NitWit005: you make this so hard sometimes
NitWit005: can't you at least pretend to have dignity?
Pyro1cynic: I HUNGER!!1111
NitWit005: hi sinistar
NitWit005: ate Tom?
NitWit005: good work
Pyro1cynic: BEWARE!!! SINISTAR!!
NitWit005: yes yes, I'll have your paycheck by the end of the month, sheesh
RepressedAtCMU: we have 3 drip coffee pots, a grinder, 2 french presses and a grinder :-D
Pyro1cynic: I prefer my women to have brains
Pyro1cynic: bbrraaaaaiiiiiiinnnnnsss
NitWit005: you should be a guest on Dr. Phil
NitWit005: not only because that would be funny
NitWit005: but watching you hit him with a chair would be good too
Milkman317: one lady refused to take it on the basis that she didnt trust me
Pyro1cynic: well
Pyro1cynic: you do have the big nose
Pyro1cynic: and a turban
Milkman317: i know
Milkman317: :-)
Pyro1cynic: some sort of jewish muslim hybrid
Pyro1cynic: greedy and willing to blow things up
Milkman317: super terrorist
Milkman317: jewish/muslim hybrid
agentfox001: altho mo and i have been known to take on teddy bears and win
CalMyungk: so… I buckled…
CalMyungk: I ordered a dvd burner drive…
CalMyungk: *sob*
NitWit005: *pats Myung*
NitWit005: there there
NitWit005: I hope it can burn dual layer DVDs =)
CalMyungk: …. I didn't think of that!
CalMyungk: HOld the order!!!!
CalMyungk: cancel cancel!!!!
NitWit005: man, running up 54 steps every time I go to my room is sure going to cause a lot of accidental exercise
CalMyungk: you can't have that….
CalMyungk: you should hire a sherpa to hike you up the stairs.
NitWit005: I had a conversation with a computer AI where I just insulted it repeatedly and called it a liar
NitWit005: I don't need you anymore!
Pyro1cynic: sweet
Pyro1cynic: <falls asleep>
NitWit005: I think I may have killed Tom by eliminating his purpose in life
NitWit005: I'll um… buy you a new one at the pet store, you'll like him just as much, I promise
EternalFootman: and now, egg sammich
NitWit005: *beats the Tomlyness out of Andi*
NitWit005: sandwich!
EternalFootman: sammich.
NitWit005: and no weight lifting!
NitWit005: *shakes head*
EternalFootman: have fun
NitWit005: hmm, there is only one way I could have fun…
EternalFootman: monkeys?
NitWit005: sure, *fills backpack with monkeys*
NitWit005: its always hard to fit the fifth monkey in
NitWit005: *eats an overcooked mutant carrot*
EternalFootman: ohh…that was my second-in-command…
EternalFootman: i try
NitWit005: I don't
NitWit005: but its a good thing other people do
NitWit005: well, my compiler can't compile anything, but it can produce a file full of error messages
NitWit005: so I'd say its almost at a gcc level
NitWit005: it only misses those rare, errorless cases
NitWit005: um… I made modern art accidently with a buggy program I wrote
mrrogersgp: how was it modern art?
NitWit005: well, you know, the polygons were all over the place and multicolored and whatnot
NitWit005: so it looked like one of those geometric paintings
mrrogersgp: you should print it out…and sell it to MOMA
NitWit005: nah
NitWit005: nobody understands my art
NitWit005: I can't see out to people who wont understand the demons within my soul… well, my compiler anyways
Pyro1cynic: DEAR GOD WHY WON'T THIS PROGRAM END!!!!!
Pyro1cynic signed off at 4:34:57 PM.
agentfox001: god is so going to die when i'm dead
CalMyungk: Piracy is like spring…
CalMyungk: When you stop to contemplate it's true wonders, you're almost brought to tears.
Pyro1cynic: "most comprehensive sewer experience"
Pyro1cynic: wow
Pyro1cynic: "It's like I'm a ninja turtle!"
NitWit005: I just choked on a pen thanks to that quote
Pyro1cynic: tom's helpful hint #356: Nothing clears a crowd like molitov cocktails, except for maybe rabid starving lions
NitWit005: but think of it this way, you may have failed at world conquest, but you may have revolutionized the vegitable industry
EternalFootman: lalalala…
NitWit005: excuse me, some of us are trying to kill vamipires and floating hands
NitWit005: your evil knows no bounds
NitWit005: *sniff* I'm so proud to be your friend
NitWit005: it has pattented "El Backlight" technology, or at least I think it does…. the manual is a bit hard to read
agentfox001: i know, it's a quickie
agentfox001: …..not that i know anything about quickies
agentfox001: …………crap
Pyro1cynic: hey you're the one who tried it not me
Pyro1cynic: you knew the risks….of having….your…nose light up…
Auto response from EternalFootman: QUESTION #8: What would you say is the greatest threat to society today?
A) Crime, drugs, and gangs.
B) Corporations run amok.
C) Nuclear war.
D) Me.
D O:-)
—— NitWit005: wait wait wait
NitWit005: why do we only get one choice?
NitWit005: I mean, what if I think you will destroy the world through nuclear missiles launched by drug addicted corporate gang members?
NitWit005: so I learned something
NitWit005: if its hot enough
NitWit005: baseball becomes entertaining
Pyro1cynic: I have heard of leptons
Pyro1cynic: things I know about leptons:
1) They are small
2)…Their name begins with an L
Pyro1cynic: this will be my thesis….
Pyro1cynic: edibility+edibility+AWE= SUPER EDIBILITY
agentfox001: i need a nickname for you
Pyro1cynic: jesus not another one
agentfox001: i have one for myung
Pyro1cynic: I have so many nicknames at this point…
agentfox001: i need one for you
Pyro1cynic: what are you calling myung?
agentfox001: bambi
Pyro1cynic: dude would you fuck with a lightning dwarf?
Pyro1cynic: I know I wouldn't
Pyro1cynic: sunuvabitch will fuck you up
Pyro1cynic: beating people who are wrong is not just fun! It's good!
NitWit005: make sure to have some heralds announce my arival to the common people
kaeyden: okay!
NitWit005: jeez
NitWit005: if world conquest is this easy
NitWit005: I need a new hobby
EternalFootman: i'm sure you could if you were going faster than the speed of light or something
Pyro1cynic: hmm
Pyro1cynic: <straps on his "Boots of Boogie"> Lets find out
Proof that Steph is Truly Evil:
agentfox001: i understand your pain and think you should take it out on some innocent guy
agentfox001: just for kicks
agentfox001: ;-)
agentfox001: and i did steal some cookies from the blood donation van
agentfox001: they were very good
Auto response from EternalFootman: Selling myself on misc.market because it's the only thing i'm fucking good for.
Cruzer2424: Lies!
Cruzer2424: I just looked at misc.market. You're not up for sale! >:o
Cruzer2424: (Plus you're an all around general badass, and those things are too expensive to put up on misc.market anyway. No one would buy. They're worth like… eleventy billion dollars)
NitWit005: Tom clearly fails to understand peasant physics
CalMyungk: lol… in the land of the moral-less, the ethically challanged man is king
EternalFootman: so what's peasant disorder like?
Pyro1cynic: <threatens andi with a pitchfork>
Pyro1cynic: WITCH!!!!
CalMyungk: All my HW is done for the week :-)
CalMyungk: *parties*
CalMyungk: *party ends. people go home. cleans up*
CalMyungk: *passes out drunk and waits for hangover*
agentfox001: …my mouth hurts
agentfox001: too much sucking, i suppose
agentfox001: damn otter pops
Pyro1cynic: fucking poképimps
NitWit005: *glad he's out of head smacking range*
NitWit005: *worries that Andi has some sort of intercontinental head-smacking technology*
EternalFootman: <grins evilly>
NitWit005: *starts digging a trench*
NitWit005: hold on, I need to call Rumsfield, we raise the terror alert every time you grin like that
Muaddib1116: i fear not your smitering, i myself have already smote three who should be smate today, threats of smitery hold no sway with me
NitWit005 (to Andi): when was the last time a day went by without you blaspheming?
NitWit005: hmm, my name has once again been placed upon the rolls of the damned
Muaddib1116: money
Muaddib1116: we demand money
Muaddib1116: lots of money
Muaddib1116: car
Muaddib1116: car and money
Muaddib1116: and car keys
NitWit005: anyways, clearly my parents raised me incorrectly by not raising me to be a drunken asshole
Pyro1cynic: yeah
Pyro1cynic: wait no!
Pyro1cynic: look
Pyro1cynic: the point is more attractive women need to have sex with me
Pyro1cynic: it's the only logical conclusion…..of whatever we were talking about
Pyro1cynic: morality is for losers
Pyro1cynic: <hugs his apathy>
CalMyungk: lol… good call.
Pyro1cynic: dude
Pyro1cynic: apathy is the cuddliest thing you will ever find
Pyro1cynic: Why is it that overweight girls are suddenly flocking to me?
NitWit005: um…
NitWit005: you washed your face for the first time in six months?
NitWit005: how would I know?
Pyro1cynic: <shrugs> I like to cover my bases
Pyro1cynic: and you are one of the people who generally plots against me so it's a good idea to check things against you
NitWit005: point taken
CalMyungk: best comment about the ubermensch ever….
CalMyungk: " It is up to a new race of philosophers with hammers to teach themselves the Superman."
Pyro1cynic: THE VOLKS HAMMER!!!
EternalFootman: awww robots ate nick's brain
agentfox001: good job
agentfox001: did they use the straw?
agentfox001: they did for me
Pyro1cynic: see?
Pyro1cynic: straws are the universal utensil for brains consumption
Pyro1cynic: from berkeley to pompeii
Pyro1cynic: quiet
Pyro1cynic: the mushrooms are talking
Cruzer2424: tee hee hee
EternalFootman: tee hee hee?
Cruzer2424: Yes. Tee hee hee.
EternalFootman: well hee tee tee
Cruzer2424: >:o
Cruzer2424: NO!
Pyro1cynic: besides deep down he's really a xxxtian
agentfox001: hey!
agentfox001: you and i
agentfox001: should get together and get dressed up in really cute outfits and take pics
EternalFootman: define "cute"
agentfox001: "little"
NitWit005: so lets see. I can fluff your hair, and make you eat sadwitches
NitWit005: geee, what increadable powers I have
NitWit005: *holds uranium closer to head* mutate me faster damn you!
NitWit005: oh well, at least I get a very even tan
NitWit005: drag queen eating corn on the cob… ahh TV, what would we do without you
CalMyungk: ….
NitWit005: don't you wish I was joking?
CalMyungk: From the bottom of my heart.
Pyro1cynic: blind folded during sex
Pyro1cynic: can't see whats coming so to speak
Pyro1cynic: and that was an AWESOME pun if I do say so myself
NitWit005: poor dragon-wagon
EternalFootman: …someone just vacuumed outside my door and now it smells like cheap air freshener…what the hell…
NitWit005: probably had incence in his carpet
NitWit005: that's what happened when I vacumed Freshman year…
EternalFootman: hehehe…except that the hall is outside my door…why the hell would there be incense there?
NitWit005: pegan rituals outide of your door? in what way is that unusual?
NitWit005: I'm sure worshippers flock to you
EternalFootman: well…i kill them too quickly for them to really make a mess though…
EternalFootman: well except for the blood, but it doesn't smell like incense
NitWit005: which is why they worship in the dead of the night
NitWit005: and so it all makes sense
NitWit005: either that or they borrowed a vacume haunted by the spirit of a dead hippie
NitWit005: another totaly logical and likely possability
NitWit005: oh do you have a gang of Israeli physics students who you are pretty sure are going straight back home to make bombs after they graduate?
NitWit005: cause… we have one of those
EternalFootman: no they don't go to CMU, they just live in the neighborhood around here
NitWit005: ahh
NitWit005: your answer is lacking in humor, and is thus wrong
NitWit005: try again
NitWit005: (applying Tom logic)
EternalFootman: erm…
EternalFootman: i'm female! i'm not supposed to think of things like this! in fact i'm not supposed to think at all! <goes back to baking pies>
NitWit005: that was excelent
EternalFootman: (also applying Tom logic) :-P
NitWit005: phh, Tom doesn't believe in that stuff, he just wants pie
Pyro1cynic: dude
Pyro1cynic: fuck ye not with phlogiston
NitWit005: can you behead yourself?
NitWit005: or is this an impossability?
NitWit005: I suppose if it was possible the Japanese would have done it
"I can sodomize anything I want!" —Drew
NitWit005: "you shot the ambasador! it's over!" and then the video game froze
NitWit005: I gather this pissed the census people off
Pyro1cynic: lol
NitWit005: course according to Sonoma I'm an elf
NitWit005: so *shrugs*
Pyro1cynic: ………….
Pyro1cynic: a CS elf…..
NitWit005: that's what they get for having an "other" choice
EternalFootman: damn…somewhere in my code something throws a NullPointerException…but it keeps throwing the exception at different points during compression depending on the input…
EternalFootman: <eats code>
EternalFootman: there, all fixed
NitWit005: ooo, Tom style programming
EternalFootman: 8-)
NitWit005: *steals Andi's cool shades*
NitWit005: yea 8-)
EternalFootman: <steals shades back & eats them>
NitWit005: woops, broke them by putting them on a larger smiley..
EternalFootman: mine!
NitWit005: hmm
NitWit005: am I going to start having to feed both you and Tom for safety reasons?
NitWit005: it's a scary world
NitWit005: there's tomlyness out there…
NitWit005: hmm
NitWit005: I expect gore
NitWit005: or blood at least =)
CalMyungk: And titties
NitWit005: I should hope so
agentfox001: *tackle*
agentfox001: i have clean pants!
NitWit005: it's too hot here
NitWit005: I demand you somehow make it colder
agentfox001: *opens fridge, ushers you inside and closes door*
agentfox001: better?
NitWit005: sweet, it's cold and there is coolaid
NitWit005: all I ever wanted!
NitWit005: ?
agentfox001: i have brownies
agentfox001: and I need someone to eat them
agentfox001: this…is a crisis.
NitWit005: *cannonizes Steph*
NitWit005: it's easy to tell the difference between good and bad people
NitWit005: good people offer me food
NitWit005: bad people don't
agentfox001: lol!
NitWit005: and then there is a blury line when Tom eats them before they get a chance to ask
Pyro1cynic: so you're married to a coffee pot now?
agentfox001: we got a divorce
Pyro1cynic: so the coffee pot got half your possessions?
agentfox001: i smashed it
NitWit005: alright… only one thing it could be *puts on tinfoil hat*
EternalFootman: O:-)
NitWit005: no more mind control!
NitWit005: no wait…
NitWit005: make me do my HW
EternalFootman: sorry, my mind control is pretty weak still. it can only take things already in your brain and make them stronger
NitWit005: that explains why I'm dressed as a fairy… but not the salad!
NitWit005: so how is the Andrea?
NitWit005: too busy to talk to Scott I see
NitWit005: *cries*
NitWit005: *seeks therapy*
NitWit005: *gets over it*
NitWit005: *resolves to stop talking to Andi's computer and immitating Myung*
Pyro1cynic: I am a happy thought machine
EternalFootman: <tosses tom a cookie>
Pyro1cynic: soon I shall have a mighty army of cookies!
Pyro1cynic: when I awake I expect my army of sumo wrestlers to have amassed outside my window
NitWit005: lol
NitWit005: see what I can do
Pyro1cynic: I the Hulk shall lead my army of sumo wrestlers across this great nation with you tinkerbell as my second in command
Pyro1cynic: Nations shall fall before the blubbery might of our army
EternalFootman: dude, birth control is the devil. do you want the devil on your penis?
Pyro1cynic: <—-likes fucking with feminists in the right situation
agentfox001: …naked?
Pyro1cynic: you and your otter pops
agentfox001: hey, i will have the sucking power of….something that sucks very powerfully…..
Pyro1cynic: like smoke in the wind I am gone
Pyro1cynic: a fat iron slinging pale ass ninja
Pyro1cynic: dammit
Pyro1cynic: now I have to try and be more angsty than you
Pyro1cynic: but I'm just so lazy….
Pyro1cynic: <wonders if he can make a living as a test subject>
EternalFootman: …
EternalFootman: why
Pyro1cynic: less school
Pyro1cynic: plus I hear the chicks dig it
NitWit005: and now I vannish to play video games
Pyro1cynic: <varnishes scott>
NitWit005: aww, thanks
EternalFootman: <yawns>
Pyro1cynic: I'll yawn you!
EternalFootman: …
EternalFootman: <POKE>
Pyro1cynic: <leaps at andi>
EternalFootman: eep <hides behind econ hw>
Pyro1cynic: I R T3# $1133PY ON3!!!!!111
EternalFootman: crap, looks like we have a new force to contend with—>
EternalFootman (8:17:22 PM): gah, now my back is hurting…
Mindzeye5 (8:17:51 PM): my evil plan is beginning to take effect
EternalFootman: a new evil force, that is
NitWit005: meh, your friend just took intro to voodoo
NitWit005: taking a freshman seminar doesn't make you a force of evil
NitWit005: passing calc 3… maybe
NitWit005: morale is low, we need strippers!
CalMyungk: lol
CalMyungk: Hey, I'd give up dental for that….
CalMyungk: Thank you Scott, for that terrible, ironfisted crushing of my faith in humanity.
Pyro1cynic: dear god why did I not try almond butter sooner!!!
NitWit005: *eats cherry pie* who cares
Pyro1cynic: never did like cherry pie that much
NitWit005: damn, forgot to scale to tomly level
NitWit005: *eats brontosaurous*
NitWit005: (with cheese)
Pyro1cynic: <drools>
Pyro1cynic: I only get a hug for helping you when i should be studying for bio??!
Pyro1cynic: I am jokingly outraged!!
Pyro1cynic: <ponders launching a terrorist attack on a baseball game>
Pyro1cynic: only good could come of it
NitWit005: pretty much
NitWit005: except people would watch more baseball
Pyro1cynic: yeah but then they'd be watching it to see the explosions
Pyro1cynic: which is a legitmate reason
EternalFootman: although…i dunno. an 8th sin has to be damn good, because they've pretty much covered everything else in the first 7
Pyro1cynic: I'll ask scott
Pyro1cynic: he'll know
Pyro1cynic: o_0
Pyro1cynic: that face makes tom laugh
EternalFootman: hehehe i love that face
EternalFootman: also o_o
Pyro1cynic: ……
Pyro1cynic: STAY OUT OF MY HEAD!!! <runs away>
Mindzeye5: except for the webcam i put in your room
EternalFootman: …
EternalFootman: crap
EternalFootman: why do i have a sudden urge to undress?
Mindzeye5: ha
Mindzeye5: just go with the feeling…
Pyro1cynic: U @R3 73# $1/\//\/3R!!!1111
NitWit005: your l33t needs work
NitWit005: I could read that
NitWit005: make my lit book entertaining
EternalFootman: umm
EternalFootman: <sets book on fire>
NitWit005: …
NitWit005: it was on my head
NitWit005: brb
NitWit005: *runs around screaming*
NitWit005: sure, it's always Scoooott's fault
NitWit005: just because I'm the source of all that's wrong with the world
Pyro1cynic: look woman
Pyro1cynic: my penis says they look good
Pyro1cynic: and what my penis says, goes
EternalFootman: well you'd better get stalking, then
Pyro1cynic: but I suck at stalking
EternalFootman: why's that?
Pyro1cynic: big and clumsy and reflective
Pyro1cynic: your only hope is to make a fire break of unnattractive women
Pyro1cynic: oh wait
Pyro1cynic: <eyes alabama>
Pyro1cynic: good job
NitWit005: this sounds like a Tomly influence
NitWit005: *checks Andi's temperature*
NitWit005: hmm signs of weight lifting
NitWit005: could be a severe case
EternalFootman: well i am feeling incredibly hungry…
NitWit005: good god… *quarantines Andi*
NitWit005: can't let the Tomlyness spread
NitWit005: I'm sorry
EternalFootman: …
EternalFootman: <eats scott>
NitWit005: darn
Pyro1cynic: So today Kelly had the class working on the problem of how to roll a joint using the least amount of paper, and it also happened to be visiting students day, so we had some prospective students and their parents in the class :-)
Pyro1cynic: she hasn't come clean with ME about ME
Pyro1cynic: I'm in your profile again!! All is well!
NitWit005: you were before
Pyro1cynic: ….
Pyro1cynic: All was well!
NitWit005: well, I'm going to go get some lunch
NitWit005: if I don't come back in an hour… assume it was tasty
NitWit005: "class, homework, buggy, food, and occasionally sleep"
NitWit005: hmm
NitWit005: I think he has his priorities exactly backwards
EternalFootman: nope. that's CMU priorities right there
NitWit005: well
NitWit005: I mean he should intend to sleep
NitWit005: as opposed to intending to go to class
EternalFootman: naw. he's just a crazy work-machine
NitWit005: hmm
NitWit005: life's not fair
NitWit005: why do you get all the good minions?
Pyro1cynic: at least I know I can always get hired as a strike breaker
Pyro1cynic: god bless their capitalist piggy souls
Pyro1cynic: if it weren't for them I wouldn't be able to break hippies knees and get paid for it
Cruzer2424: Tee hee hee.
EternalFootman: tee hee hee?
Cruzer2424: YES! >:o
Cruzer2424: Andi! We've already discussed this! Geez!
Cruzer2424: TEE HEE HEE! >:o
Pyro1cynic: yeah but we'd probably wind up in some college for quantum singularities or some such shit
Pyro1cynic: Indivisible U. or something
Mindzeye5: and putting muffins on my grocery list, pretty kinky
NitWit005: come on, reality is hard to handle, I need it carefully wrapped and presented in an amusing manner
agentfox001: I AM NOT CUTE!!!
EternalFootman: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
agentfox001: I AM NOT I AM NOT I AM NOT!
agentfox001: and laughing is not the proper response…..
Pyro1cynic: I actually had someone ask me why we couldn't grow bananas and oranges in Mass.
Pyro1cynic: I grabbed the nearest thing and beat him with it till he stopped moving
Pyro1cynic: the nearest object happened to be another hippie
EternalFootman: oh sweet, there's gonna be some hot star wars & coding tonight
NitWit005: 88963 objects scanned… why do programs have so many files?
EternalFootman: because they love you?
NitWit005: aww
NitWit005: except the 25 viral ones… 26….
EternalFootman: goddammit. just spilled tea on my shirt
NitWit005: um
NitWit005: hmm
NitWit005: fraid I can't help there
EternalFootman: i think god's mad 'cause i keep reading stuff about evolution
NitWit005: he does that
NitWit005: *points at Tom*
EternalFootman: no! <hits tom's brain>
Pyro1cynic: brains don't feel pain woman!
Pyro1cynic: MUAHAHAHAHAHA
EternalFootman: eh, just means i can do THIS <stabs tom's brain> without you noticing…until you start drooling and losing motor functions
Pyro1cynic: like I don't do that spontaneously anayway
EternalFootman: hehe
Pyro1cynic: its part of shfdaksdjbkg;rfgdfd dfgsaknds
EternalFootman: Mindzeye5: what else could i put in lingerie?
Mindzeye5: certainly not myself
Mindzeye5: but there is drew…
EternalFootman: mwahahaha
Muaddib1116: hm
Muaddib1116: sounds fun
EternalFootman: you in lingerie? well…probably better than sam in lingerie.
Muaddib1116: true
EternalFootman: right, i'll make a note of that. if nick ever needs to put someone in lingerie, it will be you.
Muaddib1116: ok
Mindzeye5: oh sorry, i don't mean to distract you
Mindzeye5: with talk of my enormous capacity
Pyro1cynic: tom smash constructionists
NitWit005: Myung is too smart
NitWit005: I demand you steal some of his brain cells
EternalFootman: working on it
EternalFootman: i'm currently trying to steal some of nick's DNA as well
EternalFootman: oh man, if i combined them…
EternalFootman: i would have a race of superhumans
NitWit005: who played dating games
NitWit005: aww… no evil Andi around *sigh*
EternalFootman: sleepy andi is here
NitWit005: hmm
NitWit005: I believe we've met
EternalFootman: possibly
NitWit005: if I recall, I can temporarily summon evil Andi by doing… *pokes Andi*
EternalFootman: <falls asleep>
NitWit005: damn
NitWit005: *takes wallet*
NitWit005: alls well that ends well
EternalFootman: grrr
NitWit005: worked better than poking I see
EternalFootman: <falls back asleep>
NitWit005: *goes back to looting*
NitWit005: I'm going to assume that means you are having some sort of sex over there
NitWit005: I mean just look at that smiley!
EternalFootman: of course with my luck it would turn me into the hulk or something…
NitWit005: hmm
NitWit005: the sexy she-hulk kind or the Tom kind?
EternalFootman: tom kind
NitWit005: because… the first isn't bad, save the green skin
EternalFootman: or something in-between. maybe a hulkified poodle
NitWit005: hmm
NitWit005: angry killer poodle *considers potential*
NitWit005: well, if that happens, we should team up
NitWit005: I want to rob a bank with a poodle at my side carrying off the vault
NitWit005: stupid 'f' key *has it shot*
NitWit005: there we go uck that ucking key
CalMyungk: dude… how did you get contacts on the east coast?
CalMyungk: I've been trying to find good henchmen there for ages.
EternalFootman: of course i can look innocent
EternalFootman: …sorta…
Pyro1cynic: no
Pyro1cynic: you can't
EternalFootman: <switches on mind-control device> of course i can look innocent
Pyro1cynic: no you can't
Pyro1cynic: god bless you tin foil <pats his helmet>
Pyro1cynic: the hall gnomes will take care of them
NitWit005: we have monkeys here
NitWit005: I think they might be Andi's…
Pyro1cynic: I really just call the maintenance folk gnomes
Pyro1cynic: to degrade them further
NitWit005: aww
NitWit005: *hugs Tom*
agentfox001: euphemisms?
agentfox001: that word is so big my keyboard wouldn't let me type t
agentfox001: it
agentfox001: i had to try three times
agentfox001: dammit
agentfox001: there's a fridge in my shower
agentfox001: *wipes tear*
agentfox001: blowing things up always makes me so happy….
CalMyungk: lol.. naw… we're all losers there. There's no reason to fight.
NitWit005: the department of awesome ranked it right beneath me in awesomeness
EternalFootman: 'there are a few methods for solving recurrences, some easy and not powerful, some complicated and powerful. Can't have all of it, eh?'
Mindzeye5: pretty sure that's because of the second law of thermodynamics
EternalFootman: where the hell did tom go?
EternalFootman: did you put him in your salt mine?
NitWit005: *kicks hooded prisonner into closet* no…
EternalFootman: hmm
NitWit005: he, incidently, commanded me to cheer you up
EternalFootman: aww, sweet. i'm ok though
NitWit005: *stands on one hand and juggles watermelons with his feet*
NitWit005: wait… really?
NitWit005: damn, spent all night practicing…
NitWit005: *sigh*
EternalFootman: hehehehe
EternalFootman: thanks for the thought though
NitWit005: *is hit by falling watermellon*
Pyro1cynic: I hunger……
Pyro1cynic: <searches for babies>
EternalFootman: haven't you eaten them all already?
Pyro1cynic: babies are exponentially growing goodness
NitWit005: I do nothing without reason… except most things
Pyro1cynic: I assumed I'd be a sort of lecherous fashion consultant
Pyro1cynic: why are you not a business major?
CalMyungk: *shrugs* I like to keep financial exploitation as a hobby.
EternalFootman: i hope you're enjoying your coffee-implements
agentfox001: YES YES YES YSE YSEYSYEAS SA ASFJ KF F F *TWITCH*
agentfox001: FUCKING CAPLOCKS
Pyro1cynic: happiness is good
agentfox001: overrated
agentfox001: but good
Pyro1cynic: not over rated at all
agentfox001: yes
Pyro1cynic: ……
Pyro1cynic: yes is not an appropriate response to a STATEMENT
agentfox001: i love you!!
"be back in 20 min, have to save the vowels." —From Steph's away message
Pyro1cynic: I went on a beer run with a professor today
NitWit005: I do my best to shame Tom via your website
NitWit005: you can come over tomorrow if you like as well
NitWit005: just call me up and I'll roll out of bed
CalMyungk: Ah, ok.
NitWit005: probably
CalMyungk: lol
CalMyungk: I'll call you at 8 am, then
NitWit005: then it would be to kill you
(01:30:48) Mindzeye5: no away message?
(01:30:50) Mindzeye5: tsk tsk…
(05:37:27) Pyro1cynic: no away message?
(05:37:29) Pyro1cynic: tsk tsk
Pyro1cynic (to Steph): having seen you on coffee
Pyro1cynic: I can't imagine you being any more hyper with out breaking several laws of physics
Pyro1cynic: well
Pyro1cynic: if it's any consolation
Pyro1cynic: if I were a creepy guy
Pyro1cynic: I'd ask for your number
"Delta(all the ladies wanting me) will be greater than zero when I get my watch." —Nick
"Well if it's all the same to you, I think I'd rather be a lesbian with you." —Nick
NitWit005 (to Tom): dude, you should preduce a bloopers video
NitWit005: I could laugh at you for hours…
Pyro1cynic: eat people
EternalFootman: tempting
Pyro1cynic: jesus tells me to eat people
Pyro1cynic: if you combine all my garments I'm an insane radioactive hulkified charlie brown who's socially unacceptable
Pyro1cynic: ….and a metallica fan
Mp5dw: dude, darth vader was a hater
Mp5dw: but he hated the game, not playas
Mp5dw: the emperor was a playa hater
NitWit005: and the moral of the story is: if you have a big sword, girls will like you
agentfox001: who said i kidnapped them?
agentfox001: *points to myung*
Pyro1cynic: if I ever get to the point where sex isn't enjoyable I want you to shoot me
NitWit005: myung is unable to play a video game and he suddenly logs off
NitWit005: clearly, he died from the horror
EternalFootman: hmm
EternalFootman: i like how signing off is equivalent to death
NitWit005: Myung's life and internet connection are deeply connected
IziKiki: I'll go drown my sorrows in environmentally friendly detergent
IziKiki: omg wtf…. brb afk
agentfox001: dude
agentfox001: you just killed my roommate
NitWit005: yay!
EternalFootman: yeah, i was just gonna say…never know when you're gonna need a HYOOGE sword
agentfox001: that would be funnier if HYOOGE didn't sound like BOOGIE in my head
agentfox001: …i think it's the two o's right next to each other
agentfox001: & wtf is afk?
Mindzeye5: no one should be trapped between a cookie and a hard place
Pyro1cynic: you're just upset because the internet made you a man
agentfox001: i was layin some lingo on tom
agentfox001: i think he's trying to kill me over AIM now
Pyro1cynic: hmm anthrax isn't half bad
EternalFootman: ……
Pyro1cynic: band
EternalFootman: ah
EternalFootman: right
EternalFootman: band
EternalFootman: yes
Pyro1cynic: <snorts mysterious white powder>
Pyro1cynic: if it were a penis
Pyro1cynic: whoever was attached to it would be thrilled
Pyro1cynic: FOOL! everyone knows the people of nebulus 7 are in fact carrots!
Pyro1cynic: how you doing?
agentfox001: no, no
agentfox001: ….how you doin?
Pyro1cynic: I love how I forget almost everything that you put on that list
Pyro1cynic: because I read the qoute and then see who said it normally
Pyro1cynic: and I'm all like "Damn that guys funny!<reads who the qoute is by> Hey thats me!"
EternalFootman: confoozled
Pyro1cynic: confoozling is the first sign of enlightenment
Pyro1cynic: <snorts mysterious white powder> Aaahh thats the stuff
EternalFootman: …
EternalFootman: are you snorting anthrax again?
Pyro1cynic: if I told you it wouldn't be mysterious would it?
Pyro1cynic: no, it'd be obvious, and I'll be damned if i'm gonna stand here snorting obvious white powder
Pyro1cynic: I was really really tempted to turn around and set him straight and then demonstrate why it's a defendable position but not a desireable one
Pyro1cynic: or like throw something at him and then deny it
"Anything divided by three is zero." —Nick
Pyro1cynic: <finishes off his grilled baby sandwhich>
NitWit005: there's a lot of baby to fit between two slices of bread
Pyro1cynic: I enjoy a challenge
EternalFootman: there were certainly farmers in the ld west
Pyro1cynic: no
Pyro1cynic: food was spontaneously generated by shooting cattle rustlers
EternalFootman: …you almost made me shoot kiwi out of my nose
EternalFootman: …you deserve no less than death by poking
Pyro1cynic: i deserve no less than fellatio from a beautiful woman
"There's a private protest…in my pants…and you're invited!" —Nick
Mindzeye5: :^)|8-<
EternalFootman: GAH! NICK HAS MANBOOBS!
Mindzeye5: oh my
Mindzeye5: whoops
Mindzeye5: :^)|:-<
NitWit005: it's good to be wanted
NitWit005: as an object
EternalFootman: of course
EternalFootman: why else do you think women want it?
EternalFootman: :-P
NitWit005: *objectifies Andi*
NitWit005: (by encasing her in wax like that new movie)
NitWit005: almost have the whole set!
EternalFootman: eh? you can objectify someone by encasing them in wax now?
NitWit005: *uses fork lift to put on shelf*
EternalFootman: and now, dragon phoenix pearl jasmine tea
Pyro1cynic: if anything ever needed an acronym
Pyro1cynic: that is it
Pyro1cynic: you're dating a vegetarian!!!
EternalFootman: i'm sure i've told you this before
Pyro1cynic: I AM FORGETFUL AND FURIOUS!!!
EternalFootman: hahahaha
Pyro1cynic: ideally that would be in 1337 but I am teh 1@zy
EternalFootman: hehe
EternalFootman: at the very least, he's only a vegetarian b/c he doesn't like the taste of meat
Pyro1cynic: THERE IS NO EMOTICON FOR THE FURY THAT SWELLS WITHIN ME!!!
NitWit005: so I call someone, hit redial and get an animal clinic
NitWit005: they totaly must have killed him by dropping an animal clinic on his house
NitWit005: it's the only explanation
EternalFootman: i could believe that
NitWit005: after all, what else could an animal clinic be for?
EternalFootman: they're dangerous, y'know
NitWit005: ooo and they have drugs not fit for humans besides Tom
EternalFootman: true true
NitWit005: darn now it called my friend
NitWit005: wait…
NitWit005: I have a phone connected to the afterlife
EternalFootman: woo
EternalFootman: ask him what it's like
NitWit005: phh hell with that
NitWit005: I'm having him beat the crap out of Plato
NitWit005: bring some excitment to limbo!
EternalFootman: NitWit005: I have a phone connected to the afterlife
Pyro1cynic: LOL
Pyro1cynic: scott=miss cleo
Pyro1cynic: only one way to find out! TO THE CHEMISTRY BUILDING!!!
NitWit005: *hops in the side seat of the hulk mobile*
NitWit005: your emotions mean nothing to me
NitWit005: save the bad ones, which bring me joy
NitWit005: keep up the good work
EternalFootman: BWAH!
Pyro1cynic: <eats andi>
EternalFootman: <tackles tom>
EternalFootman: er
Pyro1cynic: OH GOD MY KIDNEY!!!
Pyro1cynic: <pokes andi in the brain
EternalFootman: jg;nerioawrnj;gdsn 'kaeljfka
Pyro1cynic: I HAVE FOUND THE GIBBERISH CENTER OF THE BRAIN!
Pyro1cynic: You! Write my paper about telomerase!
i8piggo: It's going to be an erotic short story
Pyro1cynic: ah yeah
Pyro1cynic: that was a cool site
Pyro1cynic: with the motorcycles
Pyro1cynic: and the radiation
NitWit005: hmmm *eats desk* crunchy, but somehow lacking
EternalFootman: indeed
NitWit005: *tries pouring syrup on first*
EternalFootman: eh. i prefer it with garlic
NitWit005: nah, garlic is for office desks, not school desks
NitWit005: I have learned from Tom, a great connoisseur of inedable eating
NitWit005: o(^_^)o hey these are fun
EternalFootman: …you're happily wearing oven mitts?
NitWit005: exactly
agentfox001: scott made a database about batman
agentfox001: why does that make sense?
CalMyungk: … because batman screams data structure to me too
EternalFootman: cephalic phase: the thought/sight/smell of food triggers the vagus nerve & prepares the stomach to recieve food by acid secretion
Pyro1cynic: <prepares andi to recieve food by spraying her with acid>
EternalFootman: gah!
EternalFootman: <sprays tom with pepsinogen, then takes aim w/ HCl>
Pyro1cynic: meh
Pyro1cynic: <—-1/4 alien
EternalFootman: pepsin will fuck you up!
Pyro1cynic: considering that alien blood eats through steel but not their skin I think I'm good
EternalFootman: but that's acidic
EternalFootman: i believe pepsin is a protease
Pyro1cynic: and you believe correctly
EternalFootman: mwahaha
Pyro1cynic: but if it eats through steal and not whatever the fuck an alien is made out of
EternalFootman: and proteases work better under acidic conditions
Pyro1cynic: I reckon they're fine
Pyro1cynic: and who's to say the plating is protein?
Pyro1cynic: it sticks around after they die, could be bone
EternalFootman: <sprays tom with osteoclasts>
EternalFootman: that should eat through it
Pyro1cynic: behold the glory of science fiction
Pyro1cynic: or to be even nerdier
Pyro1cynic: your attack does nothing as I roll a 20
EternalFootman: but…but their function is to eat through bone!
EternalFootman: and i think this conversation just went off the nerdometer
Pyro1cynic: <checks>
Pyro1cynic: nope we're good
EternalFootman: bio, aliens, and rpg? it's gotta be close
Pyro1cynic: nah, this thing goes way up
EternalFootman: <cuts tom down w/ lightsaber spoon>
EternalFootman: aliens would not withstand a lightsaber
Pyro1cynic: I shall become more powerful than you could ever imagine
Pyro1cynic: <returns as a jedi alien>
EternalFootman: sheeit, i hate when that happens
Hydra555M wants to send file IMG_0171.JPGIMG_0171.JPG.
NitWit005: ?
Hydra555M: take it!!!!!!!!!!
Hydra555M: yay
Hydra555M: its satan
Hydra555M: im transfering the lord of darkness to your computer
OR you could just NOT make a coat out of me! —Nick
NitWit005: so I was forced to set my prof on fire
NitWit005: but what's new?
CalMyungk: ???
CalMyungk: is this some l33t hax0r term I don't know?
CalMyungk: Where you flame them so much on a forum, they ignite?
NitWit005: term?
NitWit005: no I was trying to imply I killed him
CalMyungk: set your prof on fire
CalMyungk: Ahhh…
EternalFootman <AUTO-REPLY> : i get stranger things than you in my breakfast cereal!
NitWit005: yes, well you are a regular eater of Nether Flakes, official cerial of the netherworld
Pyro1cynic: <falls on the ground twitching>
Pyro1cynic: oh yeah thats good wasabu
Pyro1cynic: wasabi
EternalFootman: <eats tom>
EternalFootman: ohh so much foods
Pyro1cynic: hmm
Pyro1cynic: you now contain me and conger
Pyro1cynic: as I used my mandibles of justice to devour him earlier
EternalFootman: hehehehehe
EternalFootman: you have mandibles now?
Pyro1cynic: *clack clack* the biological sciences have been good to me
Andi (to Nick): open the dictionary to "floppy butt" and there is a picture of your butt
NitWit005: I tend to edit my memories a little, makes life more exciting
NitWit005: for example, shortly I will recall having this conversation with Boba Fett
EternalFootman: arg, i laughed so hard i'm getting chest pains again
Pyro1cynic: ……. I'm killing you with comedy?
EternalFootman: yes
Pyro1cynic: sweet <checks off one of his goals
EternalFootman: -_-
EternalFootman: don't kill me! i gave you head!
Pyro1cynic: HAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHHAAHHAHAHAAHAHHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Pyro1cynic: thats going in my profile!
EternalFootman: good, i was afraid i'd insulted you or soemthing without knowing it
EternalFootman: does this mean you're not going to kill me?
Pyro1cynic: oh no you're still a dead woman
EternalFootman: damn
NitWit005: *eats 1/3 of a box of cookies*
NitWit005: where did the cookies go!
NitWit005: *eyes Andi*
EternalFootman: er
EternalFootman: <points at nick>
EternalFootman: he's the cookie monster around here
NitWit005: aww, that's so sweet
NitWit005: now I know why you keep him around
EternalFootman: :-D
EternalFootman: he's also resident wookiee
NitWit005: that makes sense, a star wars cookie monster *nods*
EternalFootman: yes
EternalFootman: cookie wookiee
NitWit005: I am so calling him that
NitWit005: hmm, I wonder if I can break into the lab to do work
NitWit005: which math class?
NitWit005: quackulous?
agentfox001: no
agentfox001: pre quackulous
agentfox001: ….we're in training
Pyro1cynic: http://geocities.com/BlueTrickster00/quotes.txt
Pyro1cynic: it's been updated
Pyro1cynic: scroll to the bottom for the most recent hijinx
sxoa: lovely
Pyro1cynic: I like my friends to suffer with me
Pyro1cynic: You're my friend Sam.
sxoa: aaaaaw
sxoa: you make me feel all warm and fuzzy inside
Pyro1cynic: no
sxoa: no wait, thats the ten cups of coffee
Pyro1cynic: thats the coffee
EternalFootman: we lovsed you!
Pyro1cynic: you can't love things, you don't even know how to spell
Pyro1cynic: Teh brain is like an E-normous orange. Whales will dance beautifully under the cerulean moon.
Pyro1cynic: EGAD I AM CHEF BRIAN!
NitWit005: ooohh… and I lent out my chainsaw
NitWit005: bah
EternalFootman: awww
EternalFootman: hmm
EternalFootman: umbrella?
NitWit005: I think zombies are rather resistant to those
NitWit005: unless you're the penguin or something
EternalFootman: a zombie penguin or a penguin wielding an umbrella?
EternalFootman: why do umbrellas and penguins make such perfect sense in my mind?
NitWit005: that's so getting profiled…
NitWit005: did you finish the thing in time for the whatsit?
NitWit005: n' stuff?
NitWit005: oh hold on I have a quote I wanted to give you…
NitWit005: oh wait, it's in my profile
NitWit005: kaeyden: maybe i haven't seen enough tragic french tiny wireless remote sensor network comedies…
EternalFootman: "that thing's operational!"
NitWit005: no, my death star code didn't compile
EternalFootman: once in a NICK IS GOING TO BE SORRY HE EVERY SAID ANYTHING
EternalFootman: er
EternalFootman: ever
Mindzeye5: hahaha
EternalFootman: >_<
EternalFootman: dammit
Mindzeye5: i am win!
Mindzeye5: <— win
NitWit005: you're both crazy
NitWit005: but you have amusing emoticons
EternalFootman: i'm sure you can come up with some sort of dance-ray
EternalFootman: modify your death ray
NitWit005: that… is such a good idea
EternalFootman: i'm a thinker!
NitWit005: but come on, nobody objects to the mad scientist who builds a dance ray
EternalFootman: unless it makes them dance FOREVER
EternalFootman: just think of how difficult it would be to sleep
NitWit005: righto, never lending you my toys
sxoa: woot?
Pyro1cynic: I'm all thin and sickly
sxoa: antiwoot then
EternalFootman: yeah, i've been tempted to ask you what it is with cutting off hands, but i figured it's considered better to disarm than to kill
Mindzeye5: it would make it impossible to wield a lightsaber
Mindzeye5: possibly also make it impossible to use force lightning
EternalFootman: eh. does one really need hands to use force lightning?
Mindzeye5: that's why i said possibly
Mindzeye5: but have you ever seen force lighting come out of anything besides fingers?
Mindzeye5: maybe you shouldn't answer that
EternalFootman: w;oeit aw ej psojtgwme
EternalFootman: do you agree?
NitWit005: I don't get that second sentence with the '?'
EternalFootman: hehe
NitWit005: w;oeit is misspelled too
NitWit005: hmm, you need some sort of title that implies you can knit while assasinating people
sxoa: History channel is showing something on bioterrorism and making new superviruses
sxoa: Its making me all hot and bothered
Desdemona9913: silly tom
Desdemona9913: thinking's for people
Desdemona9913: not jungle gyms
Mindzeye5: hmm…what to do now…
Mindzeye5: party!
EternalFootman: err
EternalFootman: yes
EternalFootman: <edges away>
Mindzeye5: but you're invited!
EternalFootman: oh!
EternalFootman: ok then
EternalFootman: <comes back>
Mindzeye5: guess where it is? :D
EternalFootman: <edges away>
Mindzeye5: but you're invited!
Mindzeye5: you're the guest of honor!
EternalFootman: <edges further away<
Mindzeye5: grr
Mindzeye5: NICK DOESN'T LIKE IT WHEN HIS GUEST OF HONOR REFUSES AN INVITATION!!!
EternalFootman: gah! <runs far far away>
Mindzeye5: YOU CANNOT RUN FROM MY PARTY
EternalFootman: <hides>
Mindzeye5: NOR CAN YOU HIDE FROM MY PARTY, BUT GOOD TRY
EternalFootman: <dances to imperial march>
Mindzeye5: that's frightening
Mindzeye5: and yet
Mindzeye5: somehow quite attractive…
Pyro1cynic: then i shall arrive in your home full force
NitWit005: full force for Tom is the same as minimum force
NitWit005: I'm used to repairing my front door when you burst through and yell "Oh yea!"
Pyro1cynic: I @r3 teh Koolaid man!!!
EternalFootman: I FOUND MY PHONE
EternalFootman: IT WAS IN MY KNITTING TIN!
Pyro1cynic: hurray your no longer incommunicado
EternalFootman: yes :-D
Pyro1cynic: now we can call you and find out you're being evil like always
EternalFootman: yay!
Pyro1cynic: you've got a penis with a vocabulary for a boyfriend
Pyro1cynic: you're doomed
mindzeye5: i'm going to try to resurrect data from my hard drive
mindzeye5: imagine indiana jones, but on a hard drive
"Hahaha, I am evil incorporate!" —Steph
Pyro1cynic: the plan is to smuggle you out in my stomach
NitWit005: hmm, the digestion cycle is over 7 hours?
Pyro1cynic: we have to wrap you in plastic first
NitWit005: remember that time you ate that adimantium sex toy?
NitWit005: barely lasted three hours
NitWit005: come on man, you're like Yoshi
NitWit005: speaking of sandwiches
NitWit005: stay away from Britain if you like them
NitWit005: stay away from Britain if you like them
Pyro1cynic: got it
NitWit005: I had to go to a South African import store to get mustard
Pyro1cynic: eat britain
Pyro1cynic: done and done
NitWit005: *is eaten (apparently)*
NitWit005: Tom, I think that's monkey blood
Pyro1cynic: just take the fucking heroin
NitWit005: yes sir…
IziKiki: <big bear hug!!!!!!!>
Pyro1cynic: careful, I just might remember that and return the favor the next time I see you
IziKiki: ((((online elizabeth gains super strength, that of ten men)))
IziKiki: (((oh crap)))
EternalFootman: meh. isomers of various sorts now
Pyro1cynic: wwwwoooooo!!!
Pyro1cynic: I HATE stereochemistry
EternalFootman: heh
EternalFootman: great…
Pyro1cynic: I think it's because I actually see the world as having 2 dimensions
Pyro1cynic: too many 8-bit video games as a child
Pyro1cynic: http://www.obleek.com/iraq/index.html
NitWit005: I have no sound
Pyro1cynic: not important
NitWit005: what is it?
Pyro1cynic: just an interesting way of showing where and when the casualities in Iraq have taken place
NitWit005: ahh
NitWit005: clearly, avoiding water is a good plan
NitWit005: sand safe
Pyro1cynic: never did trust that stuff
NitWit005: you notice how it secretly dominated 72% of the Earth while I wasn't looking?
Pyro1cynic: shit….YOU'RE RIGHT!!!!
EternalFootman: actually the girls will flirt with anyone in posession of a penis, available or not. i'm wondering if this also goes for people in posession of dildos. i should test this.
Pyro1cynic: grab a dildo and head to the marathon?
Pyro1cynic: make sure to hold it in one hand and occassionally "forget" which hand when going to shake hands
Desdemona9913: is it my fault that i'm so fantastic that i can make harming part of a mathematical scheme?
Pyro1cynic: thats an excellent question
Pyro1cynic: is such awesomness an inherent part of becca?
Pyro1cynic: Or is it the product of her environment, and if so can she truly be held accountable for said awesomness….
Desdemona9913: lol!!
Desdemona9913: it's all me
Desdemona9913: and my mom
Desdemona9913: nothing is just nurture or just nature
Desdemona9913: i was born inherently awesome, but my mom cultivated it
milkman317: im tryin to figure out where the infrared port is on my cable box but im having some difficulty
milkman317: thats for sure
Pyro1cynic: smash it with a hammer
milkman317: hammer u say?
Pyro1cynic: it's a new technology
Pyro1cynic: very cutting edge
milkman317: intreging…
milkman317: if i follow this hammer plan of urs
milkman317: can i then say ITS HAMMER TIME!
milkman317: much like that popular negro of the early 90s?
Pyro1cynic: it's practically mandatory
NitWit005: you took Myung from me!
Pyro1cynic: I'm slowly stripping away all that you hold dear
NitWit005: you are
NitWit005: you've been trying for years, and only now succeeding
Pyro1cynic: yay success!
Pyro1cynic: CalMyungk: scott got to talking to me… I'm being delayed :-)
Pyro1cynic: quit struggling!
NitWit005: unless you count the victoria secrets angels, which are better than gods
NitWit005: *waits for lightning*
NitWit005: he agrees
Pyro1cynic: he's pretty complicit these days
NitWit005: Tom, he created breasts.
NitWit005: perhaps that was the downfall of religion, the creation of something far more interesting than god
NitWit005: frankly everything is more interesting that god though… so never mind
Pyro1cynic: I am gods unwanted stepchild
Pyro1cynic: inherited from his wifes first marriage
NitWit005: Dinner at IDS: American and English themed specials of the day: Barbeque spare ribs served with hash browns or Homity pie.
NitWit005: what the hell is that?
Pyro1cynic: homity is people!!
NitWit005: indeed
NitWit005: no trash cans in London
NitWit005: forced to litter
mrrogersgp: that's what mailboxes are for
NitWit005: it's not real if it's not in my email inbox
mrrogersgp: a good way to approach life
Andi: And now she's writing things with COCK! And NIPPLE!
Steph: Yeah, when did that spring up?
Steph Re: Starbucks - This entire company is founded on the principle that you don't know what's going into your coffee!
Andi: You know Steph, I'd like to see you in a feather boa.
Steph: …
Andi: And clothes! And clothes!
NitWit005: they have these ready to bake baggetes here
NitWit005: they are awesome for sandwichy goodness
Pyro1cynic: baby on baggete rocks
NitWit005: that could be a good song name, 'baby on baggete'
Pyro1cynic: aye that it could
NitWit005: I demand you form a metal band
NitWit005: the iron told me I was fat! *runs away crying*
Pyro1cynic: when it comes to foodin' potential
Pyro1cynic: I eat most things
NitWit005: well, I'm off to read harry potter and eat an entire baugette
NitWit005: well, it's destined to become a three foot sandwich
Pyro1cynic: farewell noble soldier
Pyro1cynic: …………that is glorious
NitWit005: I think I just became a saint in the eyes of Tom
NitWit005: or perhaps his stomach, I'm not sure
EternalFootman (Re: Nick's parents' Bastille day party): when do i need to be there, and what shall i wear?
EternalFootman: dare i even ask you what i should wear?
mindzeye5: NOW AND NOTHING
Pyro1cynic: andi the pokemon trainer
Pyro1cynic: specializing in phallic pokemon
EternalFootman: >_<
EternalFootman: heh heh, prickachu…
EternalFootman: trouserizard! i choose you!
EternalFootman: oh, and you realize i'm going to be calling your penis prickachu from now on, right?
Pyro1cynic: my cock is electric now?
EternalFootman: er
EternalFootman: yes
EternalFootman: can power things with it
Pyro1cynic: some sort of pornographic version of uncle fester…..
EternalFootman: vibrators, etc
EternalFootman: hehe
Pyro1cynic: that would explain some of the problems we had during sex
Pyro1cynic: just kept zapping you
EternalFootman: hahaha
Pyro1cynic: like giving head to a car battery….
EternalFootman: i imagine sex would create some sort of magnetic field as well
Pyro1cynic: only if you were made of metal…..
Pyro1cynic: ……………………your new nickname for now and forever is NAME DELETED
EternalFootman: fuck.
EternalFootman: shut up, prickachu
Pyro1cynic: that is like 17 different kinds of awesome
Pyro1cynic: my penis didn't type that I'm afraid
EternalFootman: >_<
Pyro1cynic: prickachu let's his actions speak for him
EternalFootman: gah!
Pyro1cynic: HAHAHAHAHAHAHA
Pyro1cynic: naw, mercuries vapor pressure is super low
Pyro1cynic: it vaporizes at room temp
Pyro1cynic: which is why you have to clean it up fast if it spills
NitWit005: yes, but I think there is a normal limit on that
NitWit005: in a sealed room
Pyro1cynic: of course
Pyro1cynic: but rooms aren't sealed
NitWit005: osmosis is too slow!
NitWit005: need power!
Pyro1cynic: fast enough to cause permanent dain brammage
NitWit005: with you, that can only be an improvement
NitWit005: you guys are going to a Ren Fair without me and I can't come and see Tom dressed up as a Spanish peasent and maybe hit him with a mace if he turns his back at the weapons shop!!!
NitWit005: how could you!!
NitWit005: *goes and cries in the corner*
EternalFootman: <pats scott> there there, poor scott
NitWit005: I'll have to make due by storming Hampton court and taking down the costumed tour guides
From Andi's away message: Why did I dream I was driving through Oaklahoma City? And why was I horrified when I couldn't find a Home Depot there?
mindzeye5: i find my horns keep my halo nicely centered
agentfox001: back!
NitWit005: yay!
agentfox001: praise be to the gods
NitWit005: indeed, praise be to Steph's more highly ranked minions
agentfox001: BAHAHAHAHAHA
agentfox001: *luvs for scott*
NitWit005: *hordes luv*
NitWit005: ahh
agentfox001: lol
NitWit005: I'm writing email to parental units 01 and 02
agentfox001: spiffy
agentfox001: can't you write the same email then double-send?
NitWit005: that was what I meant
agentfox001: ah ha!
agentfox001: genius!
NitWit005: indeed, I am glad you thought of it
agentfox001: LOL
agentfox001: me too
agentfox001: it makes me feel all cold and cruel inside *huggle scythe*
NitWit005: I'm reading a webcomic…. I have a sudden urge to wear some thick armor…
agentfox001: hmm
agentfox001: usually a good plan
NitWit005: and the scythes have it good, always being carried about by cute evil and/or gothic girls
NitWit005: or death, but he's cool too
agentfox001: too true
agentfox001: LOL
agentfox001: death is cool
NitWit005: especialy the death in diskworld books, he talks in BOLD!
NitWit005: *pets Steph's pet Cerberus*
agentfox001: oh i know
agentfox001: it's amazing
agentfox001: i want to talk in BOLD
agentfox001: THAT WOULD BE FUN
NitWit005: *holds his soul close*
agentfox001: OR MAYBE IT'S JUST CAPS
agentfox001: YOUR SOUL?
NitWit005: err that is.. .errr um… here! talk to my doppleganger! *shoves in front*
NitWit005: *sips margaritas in a distant bar*
agentfox001: I CAN SEE RIGHT THROUGH YOUR PATHETIC…..OH, IS THAT A MARGARITA?
NitWit005: did you know the British call plain pizza margarita?
NitWit005: so strange
agentfox001: uh
agentfox001: REALLY?
agentfox001: do they?
agentfox001: how adorable!
NitWit005: indeed Death/Steph
NitWit005: *attempts to keep flow of margaritas going*
Auto response from EternalFootman: Just follow the trail of carnage and you'll be fine
NitWit005: no luck, it led back to me
Pyro1cynic: how long would you want to hang out
Pyro1cynic: I don't want to swamp you with tomliness
Desdemona9913: not sure
Desdemona9913: no worries, tomliness is good in large quantities, hence the reason your quantities are so large ^_^
Desdemona9913: i like your unhappiness, it gives me something to think about
Pyro1cynic: you and your madness
EternalFootman: :-D
Pyro1cynic: yes..the cruel spark of madness burns within your emoticons dead dead eyes
Pyro1cynic: why do you insist on crushing my faith in humanity?
EternalFootman: it's what andis do best!
mindzeye5: my butt hurts
EternalFootman: <giggles>
mindzeye5: if i shift around in my seat a lot at dinner tonight, you'll know why
mindzeye5: because i got abused by a bicycle seat
Desdemona9913: my god, your penis is as long as my foot!!
Desdemona9913: aww damint, now every time i look at my feet i'll think of your dick
EternalFootman: <poke>
Pyro1cynic: <shows andi the back of his hand>
Pyro1cynic: See it's got this wierd scrape, I don't know where that came from
EternalFootman: ooh, i see
Pyro1cynic: clearly she's just cranky from insufficient penis
Pyro1cynic: it's a common dietary deficiency in women
CalMyungk: Sweet ass! paypal just gave me $15 for being part of a class action lawsuit I wasn't eligable for.
NitWit005: uggh, British souls have no nutritional value
EternalFootman: yeah, we're splitting a room in a house this year, and the bookcases are a divider
NitWit005: I would have used an electric fence
NitWit005: but okay
Verbosedani2: *~_~ = gunshot to the head
Verbosedani2: ~ _~ = down syndrome
Verbosedani2: ()*_*() = hyper obesity
Pyro1cynic: we can give you evil injections
Pyro1cynic: they'll give you cancer eventually but also boost your evilness to superhuman levels
NitWit005: uh huh
NitWit005: are we talking lightning from fingers evil or more of a… I dunno Tom DeLay evil?
Pyro1cynic: not sure
NitWit005: no deal without the flashy shit
NitWit005: you know girls dig the force lightning
NitWit005: I mean who wouldn't?
Pyro1cynic: true true
Pyro1cynic: wow
Pyro1cynic: my computer just entered trance in which time stopped
NitWit005: ?
NitWit005: clock stopped?
Pyro1cynic: and everything else
NitWit005: ahh
NitWit005: the xplorer app just froze
NitWit005: explorer rather
Pyro1cynic: you scotts
NitWit005: it's what runs the start menu, the background and the icons
Pyro1cynic: and your computers
NitWit005: no
NitWit005: you missunderstand
NitWit005: if it can crash, I've crashed it
Pyro1cynic: yeah
Pyro1cynic: the dead really know pinball
Pyro1cynic: I will let hope prosper in the nether regions of my soul for a bit longer
EternalFootman: <—not so sure she wants to hear about tom's soul's nether regions…hopes he keeps them shaved, at least…
Pyro1cynic: waxed
NitWit005: I'm too lazy to read that
Auto response from EternalFootman: At what stage in our development do we forget to chill out and have a good time while batting around a projectile? Is there some evolutionary purpose to becoming a complete pill? Some brain chemical that kicks in around age 25, inhibiting the silliness receptors? Why would people approach a pickup sports league with the same gravity and killer instinct that they would use for the disembowelling of a mortal enemy? Hey grayhairs, klutzes, and average schmoes, your moment to be in the NHL is over, so lighten up.—Krista, Stumptuous
NitWit005: I assume it's deep and thought provoking
NitWit005: and I'm way too tired to think
NitWit005: let alone have some kind of epiphany
Pyro1cynic: stupid religious whackos
EternalFootman: amen
EternalFootman: er
Pyro1cynic: where am I?
Pyro1cynic: who are you?
NitWit005: I am the Devil, and this, is Hell
Pyro1cynic: that that…explains so much
CalMyungk: Alright… blondie's it is
NitWit005: later
CalMyungk: Gotta get my free soda with slice… :-)
NitWit005: you consulted the ninja card
CalMyungk: *pets ninjacard*
NitWit005: wise
NitWit005: farewell, shopping shinobi
CalMyungk: Freeloader-no-Jutsu!
Pyro1cynic: "Tom I want you to walk over there and tear that girl in half. Come on I know you can do it"-Colin
Desdemona9913: my boob is salty
"Why are you running??!! You're like the biggest person ever!"- Abby
EternalFootman: I knit half a sock this afternoon!
EternalFootman: <jumps up & down excitedly>
NitWit005: it's always nice when you compile your program
NitWit005: and you get an error on a line with no code
NitWit005: so you look up the error
NitWit005: and find yourself in a discription of an 'unconfirmed' g++ bug
EternalFootman: i'm only having a catfight if it ends with boths of us naked and covered in yummy pudding
Pyro1cynic: fainting=low blood sugar
Pyro1cynic: gatorade=blood sugar like a mother fucker
agentfox001: so it's really all your fault
agentfox001: don't you go blaming the cold, cruel, heartless, cake-baking female over here
Desdemona9913: well then, looks like a trip to the libary is in store…oh man, i don't wanna have to put on pants
Will: You've crossed the line
Sam:I like to think of the line as a finish line. Now its time for my victory lap.
Pyro1cynic: I think your future karma is screwing you up
sxoa: lol
Pyro1cynic: because in the future you kill millions of people with horrible viruses
sxoa: its humanities collective unconcious predicting the future and trying to protect itself
Pyro1cynic: so karma and quantum physics have united in a conglomerate of science and religion to be wielded as a mighty sword of justice by the universe to slightly annoy you during your formative years
"Your shoulders are like Kaboom!"-Abby, to Tom
"So…Andi's a nun. Andi's sleeping with Nick. That makes Nick God. Nick is a cookie wookiee. Therefore God is a cookie wookiee." -Nick
EternalFootman: time for icing my footsies though
EternalFootman: back later
Pyro1cynic: HAHAHAHAHHAHAHA
Pyro1cynic: andi has footsies
EternalFootman: <poke>
EternalFootman: so?
EternalFootman: tom has footsies too
Pyro1cynic: no no, tom has feet
EternalFootman: lies!
EternalFootman: i know footsies when i see them and tom has footsies!
Pyro1cynic: you are quite mistaken
EternalFootman: pfft
EternalFootman: i am never mistaken about footsies
Pyro1cynic: except now
EternalFootman: nah
Pyro1cynic: if we reverse that comment it reads "han" and we all know that Han shot first, and as a like minded individual Han would clearly agree with me in this regard
Desdemona9913: hehehe, wow, it's so nice to know the people who have been beating tom most of his life
NitWit005: aww
Desdemona9913: it's heartwarming really
NitWit005: it's nice to be appreciated for all your hard work
Desdemona9913: yeah, i've actually gotten an ingrained fear response from him now. he flinches when i move my hand in his general vicinity
NitWit005: *hug*
NitWit005: o(^_^)o! then there is the batton for hitting unruly Toms
NitWit005: I see my hampster wheel finaly arived at Tom's place
NitWit005: excelent
EternalFootman: he seems to be enjoying it
NitWit005: it's made of iron
NitWit005: he might get confused and lift it
EternalFootman: awwww
NitWit005: yea, well Galacticus, Devourer of Worlds, wanted a pet
NitWit005: and really, I think Tom is the only thing on Earth durable enough for his hugs
Pyro1cynic: It's Galactus
NitWit005: I kinda pulled that out of my ass actualy
Pyro1cynic: well your ass has been stealing from marvel comics
Pyro1cynic: which is really pretty advanced for an ass
Pyro1cynic: tell them the Don sent you and all will be well
NitWit005: Don Hirst?
Pyro1cynic: Don Hulk
Paxson510: erections can be "not all that impressive" but mohawks are always impressive
My standards have collapsed, but my horizons have broadened. -Dan
Somebody in here isn't wearing a bra, and it's not me! No wait… Nobody in here is wearing a bra, and it's me! Er, no. What I mean to say is: take off your pants. —Nick
Pyro1cynic: alex is a friend of mine who lifts weights a lot and also has a lot of sex, so he stops me in the gym today with a story he thought I might find entertaining
Pyro1cynic: "So I was in my room with this girl. Doing..what I do..with girls in my room. And she's like 'Wow, you're so strong ,you must be the strongest guy at Hampshire college' and I stop her and say 'No there's one stronger. Tom Hirst is stronger than me'"
sxoa: I am glad to see you do not appear to be a grumpasaurus
sxoa: grump grump grump
sxoa: grump grump grump
sxoa: GRUMPASAURUS!
sxoa: … I got nothing
Pyro1cynic: indeed. I am in fact a procrastisaurus
Pyro1cynic: don't make me travel through the internet to throttle you!
Pyro1cynic: because god dammit after the quantity of lead fumes I inhaled that seems plausible!
CalMyungk: Hey scott, I forget… do you go for sushi?
NitWit005: ehh sure
NitWit005: why?
CalMyungk: Just wondering…
CalMyungk: Tako sushi has 100 piece sushi platter for $35…
CalMyungk: get 4 or 5 people in on that…
NitWit005: lol
NitWit005: sure
NitWit005: if you need help
CalMyungk: It's great… it's run by korean people
NitWit005: not mexicans? dude, it can't be good
CalMyungk: Oh no… mexiacn people work the kitchen
NitWit005: oh good
NitWit005: I'm in then
NitWit005: =)
Pyro1cynic: fucking taoist electrical engineers
Sam's GF: I like being dominant
Sam: I've noticed that
SGF: What about you?
Sam: Oh you know, whatever. I'm really fine with either.
SGF: So you don't mind being recessive?
NitWit005: *sets Tom on fire
Pyro1cynic: That is done so often here it would be more disturbing if you didn't do that
NitWit005: the genocide of animals comes free of charge
NitWit005: that's the kind of service we provide
NitWit005: homework = antiwoot
Pyro1cynic: AGREED!
NitWit005: wait wait wait
NitWit005: let me do some Gabe logic here for a minute
NitWit005: antiwoot = not woot
NitWit005: woot = good
NitWit005: good = being
NitWit005: therefor: homework = not being
NitWit005: and so, I have no homework
NitWit005: woot
Pyro1cynic: I fear what I do not understand
Anti Ignoramus: BIGOT!
Pyro1cynic: fear leads to hate, hate leads to anger, anger leads to HULK SMASH!!
Pyro1cynic: I think I should get some sort of bonus for combining Yoda and Hulk
Anti Ignoramus: it's not that much of a leap. They're both green.
Anti Ignoramus: and have interesting interpretations of the english language.
Pyro1cynic: If the zombies scream "gently" you're not doing it right
EternalFootman: and what do i have to give you in order to hear this idea?
mindzeye5: well, i was just going to tell you
mindzeye5: but extortion sounds better
mindzeye5: thanks for the tip
Pyro1cynic: I'm very taoist in the way I enjoy cleavage
CalMyungk: It is not the gadget that makes you l337. It is the union of user and gadget that results in true l337ness.
"I'm not entirely sure what I just ate….."- Sam
"I spotted the Tom Hirst on his way to SAGA. Even though it was foggy and drizzling, his strength and cunning were obvious. He was majestic, haunting. I felt my legs quiver in an instinctive need to flee. Truly, he is the hunter, and we the prey."- Colin Urbina
NitWit005: preventing human extinction is #473 on my priority list
NitWit005: right below getting a good tan
NitWit005: now to rescue the girl… again
CalMyungk: don't forget protection, man.
NitWit005: a shotgun?
CalMyungk: That's what I always use.
NitWit005: you're so old fashoned
CalMyungk: When I'm feeling romantic, I break down and go for the ol' combat knife.
Pyro1cynic: I require your bones to bake my bread
Random girl #1: What's the plural of phallus?
Random girl #2: Phalli
Tom: Actually a phalli is someone who's on your side but also kind of a dick
*cue both girls staring at tom like he's an idiot*
NitWit005: but I do tend to be behind you with painful objects
Pyro1cynic: Word
Pyro1cynic: Giant robotic wang!!
Pyro1cynic: I accidentally launched a 120 lb girl over my head
EternalFootman: oh crap. i just realized that i need to "eat" in order to "live". i'll be back later.
Pyro1cynic: yeah I saw that a while ago
Pyro1cynic: I've been going around saying "You cannot hurt me , doncha know who I AM? I'm the juggernaut bitch!"
Pyro1cynic: for weeks now
CalMyungk: *sigh* humanities profs…
NitWit005: too dumb to make webpages of course
NitWit005: "typing stuff into word? I don't get it…"
CalMyungk: Well, whatever… my art class, you get an a for making a website
CalMyungk: and not fucking up the posting. :P
NitWit005: …
NitWit005: do explain
CalMyungk: well, we make a website and upload it to an ftp server.
CalMyungk: If you can do that, you get an A for that project
CalMyungk: … that's it.
NitWit005: wow
NitWit005: that's like getting an A for being able to shit in the corner of your cage
NitWit005: you know "monkey apparently not that stupid"
CalMyungk: Amazingly, some people shit in their water bin…. it was kind of depressing.
NitWit005: apparently in 400 AD you really could be a hunter of heretics
NitWit005: that really pisses me off
NitWit005: I missed my calling
EternalFootman: besides, i'ma be a computer when i grow up
Pyro1cynic: you're planning to be porn server aren't you
NitWit005: not very lazy
NitWit005: get more lazy!
EternalFootman: erm
EternalFootman: <collapses onto the floor>
NitWit005: better
EternalFootman: <stops breathing>
EternalFootman: <comes back to life because she was too lazy to go *all the way down to hell*>
NitWit005: hmm
NitWit005: well, that's a new record!
NitWit005: *sniff* there are still heros
NitWit005: Myung
CalMyungk: Some call me that.
NitWit005: I know how you can get a nobel prize and be set for life
CalMyungk: Finally! The good parking!
NitWit005: My browser ate my cookies? What do I do? Bake more websites?
agentfox001: human resource
agentfox001: the only thing more evil than me
NitWit005: you have any … oh I don't know, ninja assassins around that might put me out of my misery?
agentfox001: si
NitWit005: can I borrow one?
NitWit005: I'll even take like… a ninja midget
agentfox001: LOL
NitWit005: or some guy that kills people with his hat
agentfox001: hmm
agentfox001: ask andi
agentfox001: she's got some spares in her closet, i think
agentfox001: she has more room, as she has less shoes
CalMyungk: As Mike said, "Hiring is like making sausages. You don't want to know how it's done."
CalMyungk: 2 words. Vagina enlargement.
Pyro1cynic: you are a strange and confusing man
Pyro1cynic: no doubt full of evil and meat
devils chai: hehe, the tour de france is on downstairs. lots of little men in lycra with enormous freakin' thighs. sweet.
devils chai: hey, i have absolutely nothing else to do right now :D
devils chai: hehehe
devils chai: so the fact that you're providing entertainment (as all men should) is an added bonus
NitWit005: aww, it's nice that you lie and pretend we're useful
devils chai: you're very useful. as entertainment. i mean, women wouldn't fight to the death if i told them to
NitWit005: wow I hadn't thought of that
Pyro1cynic: I wil take your dubious advice into consideration
devils chai: crap, i lost track of the amount of time i've been working
Pyro1cynic: the year is currently 2028
Pyro1cynic: damn cars
Pyro1cynic: once I get my jumping down I'll show them
devils chai: hehe
devils chai: "tom, where did you come from? and why are you standing in a crater?!"
Pyro1cynic: "Solar flare"
Pyro1cynic: They do wierd stuff
devils chai: hahaha
devils chai: does that mean i can blame solar flares for all of my bad moods and stuff? that would be awesome, shifting the blame millions of miles away from myself
Pyro1cynic: Hey, get your own phenomenon.
Pyro1cynic: Solar flares are mine
Pyro1cynic: I called dibs
Pyro1cynic: Do you realize man, that in a frictionless world NOTHING is ribbed for her pleasure??!!!
Pyro1cynic: I rock on levels heretofore only theorized about
Pyro1cynic: and now I have a 40d nail in my sinus cavity
Pyro1cynic: can today get any better?
Pyro1cynic: Seriously?
…
Pyro1cynic: Fuck! Nosebleed!
Pyro1cynic: Oh who could have forseen this!
Pyro1cynic: if it didn't cost money I would totally certify myself as a hypnotherapist
i8piggo: yeah
i8piggo: you could mix it with some religious certifications too
i8piggo: and a JD
i8piggo: so you could officiate the wedding as both judge and minister, then deliver the baby, then do various methods of couples therapy, and finally divorce them
Pyro1cynic: EPA is pretty strict
devils chai: yeah, look what they tried to do to the ghostbusters…
emmasauruss: sara didnt know who martin luther king is
emmasauruss: NO JOKE
emmasauruss: i asked her if she learned abou tthe civil rights movement and she goes "whats that?"
emmasauruss: and i was like uhhhh you know who martin luther king is right?
emmasauruss: and she goes "wait, hes black right?"
Pyro1cynic: Stab her in the face
emmasauruss: i was like omg i hate ohio
Mindzeye5: i just took a cookie from a random christian group
Mindzeye5: i think it's laced with jesus
Tom: Thank you for registering your attack. Here at Hulk, Corp. your attack is important to us. We will address your attack in the order it was recieved.
Tom: Thank you.
Tom Smash.
Scott: they're phds
Scott: what can I say?
Andi: smack 'em with a hammer. saves words.
Scott: *blinks*
Scott: sorry sounded very Tomlike
Scott: I was worried
Scott: but then I remembered how you liked hitting things with hammers
Andi: :D
Scott: Scott outsourcing
Andi: yay!
Andi: this is really why you need your own country— so people can outsource to it
Scott: well, it's best to invent one
Scott: the small south east asian nation of Burktan Fask
Scott: it's ethnic people engage in the daily ritual of the Tom insulting, and require two hours off for this religious activity
Andi: hehehe
Scott: now, when you get done, think of better ways to make money off of my employers
Scott: namely you
Andi: hmm, i sense a plan against me here, but i'm too tired to discover it
Scott: one of Zeno's most perplexing paradoxes: How can there by motion when everything is so lazy?
Andi: apparently there are enough non-lazy things around to drive the motion
Scott: I have a theory which involves different types of laziness interfering with each other and creating all of existence, much to existence's regret
Andi: andi, however, has a high percent composition of lazy matter
Andi: dude, that would be awesome
Scott: indeed, sadly, I think I need to make it past the first paragraph of said physics paper
Andi: damn
Scott: which makes me suspect that I am composed of very uniform slacking forces
Andi: hehe
Scott: hmm, I could propose a theory of dark matter: too lazy to be interacted with
Andi: awesome
Scott: Next time on Andi Grades Papers While Occasionally Browsing the Internet!
Scott: students answer question six in a stupid manner and Andi writes a sarcastic comment!
Scott: Nick falls asleep!
Scott: and our announcer goes for a walk!
Scott: stay tuned
Scott: I need to plan for these plot twists
Scott: I better not turn out to be some hero's father
Scott: that's creepy man
Scott: creepy
Tom: but then you can defeat them through sheer paternal dissaproval
Tom: "You suck, and your sister sucks and your rebellion sucks. Go to your room."
Graham: as tom just said:
"Tom: booz and gambling!
Tom: and strippers!
Tom: and murder!!!"
Graham: none of the above appeal to you?
Myung: tap that fine fine homocidal ass.
Tom: I really need to hammer nails into my face more often
Andrea: true
it's that awful mix of mayo, ketchup, and onions that always got me though
Myung: The "Special" sauce?
Andrea: yeah. ugh.
Myung: Mmmm… so thick it won't come off the bun if you hold it upside down…
Like epoxy, but delicious.
Andrea: 'scuse me looks for bucket
Myung: Sorry. I haz ur bukkit
Andrea: noes!
*vomits rainbows & kittens*
[August 14, 2008]
Scott: yes!
Microsoft Visual Studio's help has "Help on Help"
[October 8, 2008]
Tom: Tom's 1st postulate: Work will always suck.
Greg: if it didn't, it would be known as happy happy fun time
Tom: This is why no serious journals will publish my postulates.
Think of some postulates so I can publish them
[October 8, 2008]
Tom: Having you considered setting reality on fire?
Scott: it doesn't spread as fast as one might hope
Tom: MORE KINDLING!
[October 9, 2008]
Scott: fortunately, I hate those cookies
Myung: Then you hate freedom
Scott: I do hate freedom
when was the last time freedom did something for me?
never
makes me do everything myself
fucker
[October 9, 2008]
Scott: are you both a priest and reporter now?
Myung: hehehe
no, nothing that special, unfortunately.
They made a limited number available for purchase
Scott: ahh
damn
I wanted to be friends with "Myung Kim: priest reporter programmer detective"
I threw in detective just for kicks
Myung: Don't forget competitive gamer ;P
[October 12, 2008]
Scott: so what does one bait a tom trap with?
Tom: Dunno
I've never been caught by one
Scott: hmm
I was sort of thinking one of those "babes in metal bikini that hulk can lift one handed" might do it
but honestly I think I'd prefer to keep those to myself
Tom: hmm
raids scotts store rooms
Scott: that explains where all my jam went
you bastard!
Tom: NOM
[October 12, 2008]
Tom: I KILL U!
Scott: have fun hanging around at Andi's place?
Tom: yeah
the carbon monoxide alarm went off!
exciting!
[October 20, 2008]
Scott: are you jealous of their jumping jacks?
Tom: ABSOLUTELY!
[November 03, 2008]
Scott: hugs Andi
you bring humor to the world and delete stupid test cases
[November 10, 2008]
Scott: you are also pieless
but I could construct a device that transfers a pie from your fridge to mine… leaving an anti-pie, or possibly pie-debt in your fridge
*ponders*
*develops theory of pie transference*
Andi: hmm, i wouldn't want to be in pie-debt
they break your legs and take all of your 2% milk if you don't pay up in time
Scott: hey, I'm hard at work creating a new bubble market here! *packages pie-debt into pie-assurance policies*
and you'd better start drinking whole milk then
[November 12, 2008]
(Scott status: brought to you by the letter L)
Tom: Dude
the letter L owes me money
If you see him, break his joint for me
Steph: i want a shark
Andi: …
Steph: it'd be nifty
Scott: how else am I going to get a wall sized photo blow up of you holding a horrified watermelon?
[November 13, 2008]
Andi: also it's s'posed to be 80 degrees out tomorrow
Tom: ….
Unacceptable
Andi: well *you* try knocking out the sun this time, my eyebrows still haven't grown back properly
Tom: *hires some dude named Icarus*
Tom: He seems qualified
(Scott status: What happens when a Tom meets an immovable object?)
Tom: It gets moved.
Bite me Xeno.
[November 14, 2008]
Tom: My legs hurt
who knew trying to squat as quickly as possible with 315 would cause soreness?
Scott: *raises hand*
Tom: You knew? And you said nothing!
[November 19, 2008]
Tom: Just start throwing punches and don't stop
EVER
Andi: you always say that
Tom: And I always mean it
[November 25, 2008]
Andi: *ponders* DragonForce=DragonMass x DragonAcceleration
Tom: you're doing dragon newtonian physics?
what about dragon friction?
get it?
Andi: oh god just got it
Tom: DRAGGIN'? FRICTION?
Andi: i think
…yes
sadly
i got it
Tom: AHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHA
[December 10, 2008]
Tom: I sleep on a pile of dead hookers
[December 16, 2008]
Scott: when I dig a hole, I put dead bodies in it
Myung: As any reasonable person would.
Tom: SO TOMLY!!!
Megatoms of tomlyness
Scott: Andrea: hey! he stole my idea for units of measurement! only my idea is Andi-sizes. One Mega-Andi ~ 10lbs or 5 ft
Tom: All the best ideas are stolen ones
[December 18, 2008]
Andrea: nothing says you can't become a robot shark
Andrea: you can be anything you want!
[January 7, 2009]
Scott: so has Tom recovered from his sickness yet?
Andrea: dunno
Andrea: oh, he's just online
Andrea: …and surrounded by cops, apparently. i told him not to eat that baby in public…
[January 9, 2009]
Andi: dude, a banana with a string attached to it is better than outlook
Steph: …lets be honest andi
that's better than most things
[January 14, 2009]
Andrea: <—pushing tom to tutor kids in sciences
money + free meals
Scott: you know Tom too well
but he may devour the annoying ones
Andrea: that's what i mean about the meals
[January 15, 2009]
(Tom status: Disclosing conflict of interest information)
Scott: Tom, you don't have conflicts of interest
Tom: Sure I do
I want to eat you because I'm hungry
but you also make me laugh
SO CONFLICTED
Tom: My conflicts of interest make me interesting
me: you have others besides dilemmas arising from cannibalism?
Tom: There are other types of conflicts??!!!
Tom: *googles*
[January 16, 2009]
Scott: *takes Tom's angry*
Tom: NOES!! They be takin' my angry!
*shrinks back to Banner*
(Scott Status: Charming the masses with puppetry)
Tom: Lesbian puppetry?
Scott: … do you want to see lesbian puppetry?
I thought that was just Myung
real niche market
Tom: You'd be surprised
[January 26, 2009]
Tom: god please kill me!
Scott: it's nap time man
Tom: I just woke up!
Scott: it's whiskey time then
Tom: murder is faster!
Scott: sorry, it's too much of a drive
I'm lazy
Tom: don't y0u have a patriot missile lying around
Scott: you aren't an airplane Tom
Tom: but I can learn!
Scott: right, let me know when you've covered yourself in enough metal for radar to pick you up and learned to fly
Tom: Done!
FIRE!
[January 27, 2009]
Scott: what did you mispronounciate?
Andrea: "wanton" is often mispronounced as the asian food "won-ton"
making a play on words
Scott: *blinks*
you octopi and your crazy linguistics
Andrea: *waves tentacles happily*
Scott: that is so deeply frightening
and yet adorable!
[January 29, 2009]
Scott: but I want to wear fancy pants!!!
(Tom Status: Back on 40 hour work week)
Myung: Welcome back to AMERICA!
you're 40 hours again?
Andrea: so they just called me into the conference room to tell the story of why the US uses 8.5x11 as the standard paper size to our visitors, because we'd looked it up the other day and apparently i told it best
[January 30, 2009]
(Andrea's Status: If I see the word "verify" again, there will be blood)
Scott: confirm
test
regression
check
Andrea: you cause me semantic pain
[February 2, 2009]
Scott: so wait! you're at work aren't you?
Tom: Yes
*weeps*
Scott: *pats sad Tom*
there there
Tom: *drinks*
[February 3, 2009]
Andrea: i haz a kitty!
Scott: I have updated the list of quotations
Andrea: noooooo!
[February 9, 2009]
Steph: …i mean, i would work tirelessly to better mankind
by creating a doomsday device
…i mean, helping people
[February 23, 2009]
Andi: i also declare it national reading-comprehension day
i command you to read something
and understand it
Tom: You command what?
[February 24, 2009]
Andrea: bwaaaah. my coworker just reminded me that because our hired programmer is adding all this extra crap to our access db to "make it more flexible", i have to test all of it to make sure it works
Scott: or email it to me and have me remove it
Andrea: hahahaha
Andrea: dude, if you knew access, you would be the person we pay $75/hr to develop this thing
Andrea: because i could just break your kneecaps if you pulled shit like this, and you would be completely understanding about it
Scott: want to learn access Myung?
Scott: Andi has a tempting offer =)
Myung: $75 an hour, in exchange for my kneecaps?
Scott: you win a little, you lose a little
Scott: life is always about 3 steps forward, 2 steps back Myung
Myung: … but I can't step without knees.
Scott: whatever the wheelchair equivalent of that is
Scott: anyways, it's only if you annoy Andi
Scott: so maybe a 95% chance of kneecapping
Myung: Insignificant, really.
[February 27, 2009]
Tom: Pumped up my lats something fierce
Andi: hehe
zombie tom
Tom: I wish
those guys are supposed to be freaky strong
Andi: gireveks?
Tom: Zombies
[March 4, 2009]
Tom: FFFOOOOOOODDDDDD!!!!!!!
Scott: ahh, the echoing cry of the majestic Tom
[March 6, 2009]
(on dating)
Myung: All I've got right now is work and capital that now thanks to the more generous payout by Tom's insurance, I won't be able to invest in further indenturing my acquaintences. So I figured I'd use it to invest in some emotional futures.
[March 8, 2009]
Scott: there is no food in my home
drive over here and help me disguise the apartment as a candy home so can lure fat scandinavian kids inside
[March 9, 2009]
Scott: so I had a high school student shadowing me today
it was amusing
Andrea: bahahahaha
did you make the student get you coffee?
and then pour it on the floor?
Scott: have I told you how adorably evil you are?
Andrea: stop avoiding the question!
Scott: so have you finished turning the space heater into a time machine yet?
Andrea: no, i need an allen key
Andrea: *grumbles about tom eating everything in sight*
Scott: *looks confused*
Tom = Tom?
Andrea: a tomtology, if you will
[March 10, 2009]
Tom: You may have to go "Out side"
Andi: but there's something burning in the sky!
Tom: That's scotts latest doomsday device
[March 11, 2009]
Scott: you know, the other guy gave me free koolaid
are you sure you know how to run a suicide cult?
Tom: suicide, homicide dead is dead
[March 13, 2009]
Andi: running into more and more places where people aren't actually reading what i say
i don't want to patronize them
but from now on, i'm going to be writing them e-mails in bullet-point format with no more than 5 words for each line
Scott:
- Vampires!
- In OFFICE
- RIGHT NOW
*presses button to mark as urgent*
there we go
[March 17, 2009]
Tom's status: Iron man, Iron man does whatever an iron can.
Tom: Lazer turrets and drones are the solution to all modern problems
Daniel: word
this stuff is so long overdue
it's been the future for like 10 years now and they're just finally getting to it
Steph: i was just entertained by the three questions lady
having just watched monty python
Andi: heh
i think that was a guy
what with the beard…
Steph: oh
shit
[March 18, 2009]
Myung: Coraline. Friday. GO!!!!!!!
Andi: steph just invited me :)
i'm going
it's scott whose ass you're going to have to set a fire under
Myung: Just got him.
*pats Pokeball and puts it back in pouch*
Andi: charizard?
Myung: Naw. I got me a Scott. Useless until he's leveled up pretty high.
Andi: what's his power?
Myung: He crashes the game instantly.
[March 23, 2009]
Scott: *dumps his Monday onto Andi's desk*
ugghhh
take it!
flees
Andi: nooooo! *throws it after Scott*
no backsies!
Scott: *bleeds to death from high speed weekday impact*
Scott: I found relationship advice in the form of street fighter, maybe you can apply it: http://www.threepanelsoul.com/view.php?date=2009-03-19
Myung: See, that is just ignorant.
Myung: If she's good enough, she can psychic shoryu your ass and make you regret ever even thinking of the low forward.
Myung: And in the event that you do connect with the low forward poke, what's the verbal equivalent of a ex hadou follow up, focus dash cancel, metsu hadou?
Scott: *tries to determine if this was a comment about street fighter or relationships*
Scott: try giving her flowers
[March 24, 2009]
Andrea: Joshua: stop breaking my code
this would be the programmer
*headdesks until desk breaks*
Scott: he's the one who was all amazed when I deleted files
clearly I have more talent in making changes without breaking stuff
and you know I cause all programs to crash
Andrea: so maybe if i didn't associate with you, his code wouldn't be as broken?
Scott: …
*ponders*
[March 26, 2009]
Andrea: you have a white board?
of your very own?
*jealous*
Andrea: …they took your caffeine?!
*holds up pitchfork & torch where do I sign up for the riot?*
Scott: fill out form C12
then give it to that nice woman in HR who has the mints in her cubicle
Andrea: oooh i like those mints
Tom: No caffeine!!!???!!!
*switches to meth*
Tom: So it turns out companies want money in exchange for their goods
also
"This may surprise you, but as a staunch proponent of the prison, I agree. But while many liberal commentators believe inhumane treatment and religious persecution transforms detainees into suicide bombers and high-level terrorists, I believe the opposite is true"
Scott: we beat the terrorism out of them
Tom: Contrapositive: Not beating people makes them terrorists
Scott: oh *high fives Tom*
Tom: *harvests organs while whistling*
Scott: Tom, you're getting the lab messy again
Tom: We have a biohazard area for a reason
Tom: Because we hire psychopaths
[March 27, 2009]
Andi: well, there's evil and then there's evil that i created which escaped and is now menacing the countryside
Scott: remember to shut the lab window next time
Andi: can't, that's where i cool my freshly-baked pies
Scott: mmm laboratory fresh
Steph: lol
building an army of blueberries or something?
the rejects get baked….into pies!
so it tastes of lost hopes and dreams
delicious
Tom: Tautologous Toms Tread Trepidatiously
[March 30, 2009]
Tom: Countries will topple before the mightiness of my might
Andi: woo, just got a support call from a site entering live data. and resolved in under 30 seconds. win!
Scott: if you weren't polite you could have cut it down to 20
Tom: Hamstrings…so….sore
Pain….Shatnerian…in….intensity
Andi: eh, we all knew you were a zombie
there's no use in hiding it anymore
i mean, having your leg drop off like that makes it kind of obvious
Scott: but I covered up the shambling so well! what gave it away?
*eats spoonful of brain flavored yogurt*
anyways, you're right
I shouldn't be ashamed of being a brain eating zombie
after all, we're on the forefront of the local food movement
[April 2, 2009]
Steph: why was I just contemplating, with some seriousness, the logistical nightmares of having a secret dance troupe travel around the world to reenact famous musicals in subways and train stations?
[April 3, 2009]
Scott: oh crap I have 8 queued up code reviews
that's what I get for raising bug reports
Scott: apparently when you find something doesn't work, people realize you know how it's supposed to work
I need to straddle the line between competence and madness to get them not to give it back
(Andi: I don't know when this is from, I just found it amongst my draft e-mails (???))
Tom: when the error you get is "System exception:null"
then you have a nihlist/existentialist program
if that ain't anxiously philosophical I don't know what is
[April 22, 2009]
Andrea: bah, knowing a foreign language is good
because you can insult people without them realizing it
and passive-aggression is all the rage right now
[April 25, 2009] Grand Theft Wagon!
Andi: Who came before Kepler?
Tom: Jepler!
Myung: I just want everyone to experience hernia
Tom: Expecto Patronum bitch!
[April 27, 2009]
Myung: … after all the factories moved away, there was nothing left for the people. They spent the days scraping together what small bits of their life were left and spreading syphillis…
Steinbeck eat your heart out.
Tom: Lol
Detroit AKA "The Syphillis
bowl"
Myung: … could we use turnips as prophylactics?
Tom: I..I'm…not sure
Myung: That's good enough for me starts designing the advertising campaign
[May 03, 2009]
Steph: now…TO THE SHOWER! * theme song *
[May 07, 2009]
Tom: my parents bought me an ipodtouch
it's like an alien life form
I have no idea what it wants from me
[May 08, 2009]
Tom: no that's my bold and spicy hooker dipping sauce
Tom: Wait wait wait
you mean babies aren't accessories?
that explains why my baby piercings business never tok off
Scott: < laughing
don't make me break out laughing at work in the middle of the day
[May 11, 2009]
Steph: Hahaha
I'm Hell's hot secretary
sweeet
Steph: do you have a nutrition related question?
I'm testing those reflexes there
Scott: umm
if I ask you one you'll stab me
Steph: no need it for work
any nutrition related question
Scott: *sighs and gives in*
"Is it really only made of apple?"
Steph: you're right, i do want to stab you
[May 12, 2009]
Andrea: don't make me reassemble the giant robotic elephant
[May18, 2009]
Scott: *pulls the lever*
Andi: not that lever!
Scott: *pulls all levers*
Andi: *turns into a duck*
quack you.
Scott: *writes up bug report*
[May 22, 2009]
Tom: randomly
"Steph: now…TO THE SHOWER! * theme song *"
*BOW CHIKKA BOW-WOW* ?
[May 29, 2009]
Myung: Stuck refactoring a 600kb class… Must break it up to make it run on a phone with a class size limit. FUCKING UK OFFICE.
Those carpet bombing axis dirgables might have been on to something….
Scott: hahahaha
things are bad when you're sympathizing with the Nazis
Myung: The code is that bad…
Scott: oooghh
I ate 1/5th of a Tomly food amount for lunch
Tom: 1/5th*infinity=infinity
Scott: hyperbole Tom
I'm only human
Tom: *engages hyperbole drive*
Scott: … that is such a good idea
Tom: Warp factor "Yeah of course warp drives are real"
[June 1, 2009]
Steph: TWITTER!!
hate
so much hate
oh my GOD I HATE IT
Scott: wow, you really do need to take down a few marketing people over there
Myung: Preaching to the choir, man…
Scott: *slips an envelope to Myung*
just a little enticement
and… that may contain three $1 bills…
I'm a little low on cash
Myung: I accept check.
[June 2, 2009]
Andi: ooo, you should hit up BYU
Tom: I thought you were trying to stop me from killing myself?
Andi: i am! you'd be too busy killing other people
and there would be lots of babies to eat
Tom: *blinks*
you make a surprisingly concvincing argument
Scott: can we lace the babies with something?
Andi: like what?
Scott: who cares?
Tom:LA strikes me as a more expensive version of hell
Steph: pretty much, that's why I love it
[June 3, 2009]
Steph: i'm head of the hr department
dad had a complaint
i listened patiently then said i'll get right on it then threw teh piece of paper in my recycle bin
while he was standing there
Andi: hahahaha
you're a good hr person
Steph: all he could say was "typical"
[June 5, 2009]
(Scott status: Too much Thai food)
Tom: Your status makes no sense
Scott: *pats you on the head*
what a good Tom you are
Tom: Be quiet and get me thai food
Scott: I went to Thai place with woman who had known the owner for 15 years she kept unloading free food onto us
Tom: god I hate you
[June 7, 2009]
Scott: no! he clearly has a guitarist doppleganger never shown on the screen at the same time!
of course!!!
I need to… not watch Mexican movies
Scott: right, but now I'm thinking, screw real medicine, lets just make it 14% alcohol and claim the active ingredient is ginsing
[June 24, 2009]
Scott: it's hard to increase the ridiculousness of it any more
Tom: *ponders*
Silly hats?
Scott: yes Tom
good work
Tom: excellent
[June 26, 2009]
(Scott status: Has been chosen by the gods to do nothing particularly special)
Tom: Scott worships at the alter of mediocrity
[June 27, 2009]
Andrea: sexism is romantic!
[July 02, 2009]
Steph: put yourself in control of your own happiness!
and spelling.
[July 09, 2009]
Andi: why does pandora think i'd like kelley clarkson and death cab for cutie?
Tom: I've asked the good folks at Pandora to undermine your sense of self
Andi: i wanna be knighted for singing somewhat-dirty songs!
Tom: A noble goal
Tom: Badumbum
Andi: i hate you.
Tom: *nods* Only sensible
[July 10,2009]
Tom: that's crazy it'll never work
Tom: the only answer is absurd amounts of drugs and ritual sacrafice
Andi: pffft
Andi: you know that ritual sacrifices always get crashed by some hero who kills your giant snake and makes off with your ginormous shiny rocks
Tom: only if your james earl jones
Andi: yeah there's something i gottta tell you…
Tom: I had sex with james earl jones! *proceeds to blog furiously*
[July 14, 2009]
Tom: Also my sisters status is awkward
Andi: gmail status?
Tom: yeah
Tom: running. (720): Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
Andi: ahh. that's from some website
Andi: like "stuff i texted last night", something like that
Tom: oh thank god
[July 16, 2009]
Andi: curses google maps for not being able to generate driving directions anywhere in iceland
Tom: lol
Tom: "YOU'RE IN ICELAND!!!!"
Tom: "I survived a Japanese game show; Week 5"
we're making tv shows about tv shows
soon they will gain sentience and turn on us
[July 17, 2009]
Andrea: meh
lazy
Scott: *hug*
another example of how laziness makes you a better person
[July 19, 2009]
Andi: We get these weird errors when the user stands on his head and whistles "Yankee Doodle", so then we have to go in and test what happens when the user stands on one leg and whistles "Row, row, row your boat".
Tom: Obviously you need to sell to customers who can't whistle.
Tom: man you non-scientists just don't understand
Science is all about the DANGER!
The thrill that you could destroy yourself and several city blocks at any moment!
[July 21, 2009]
Scott: keep your enemies close and your frienemies closer?
[July 22, 2009]
Steph: wrappers, POP boxes, display stands….they all bend over backwards to accommodate you. but buying concentrate? meh. Apples? even more meh. God forbid I ask for anything organic, it's like telling them they're ugly, have the plague, and oh yea I fed their children to Tom
Tom: beating up peasants? It's the work I was born for!
[July 24, 2009]
Tom: I AM JOREL! MASTER OF SCHEDULING!
Tom: you'll also find this amusing, I got woken up by purring and chunky licking my EYE
Andi: hehehe
Andi: crazy cat
Andi: fudge meowed
Andi: for 1.5 *hours*
Tom: wow
Tom: that's not meowing
Tom: that's yodeling
Tom: lol
Tom: a very rare Blackadder brain tumor
Tom: shows up on PET scans as a remarkably good portrayal of Rowan Atkinson
Andi: ah, bean-shaped
Andi: badum-tish!
Tom: well done my young punawan
Andi: i…wha…*falls over* i have been punned down
Tom: indeed
Tom: The pun surrounds us and flows through us
Tom: *puns so hard he lifts the X Wing out of the swamp*
[July 28, 2009]
Scott: nooo! Andi's going to vanish
who will I backstab in Munchkin now?
… besides Tom
and Will
Andi: esp Tom
Scott: I refuse to use my extra sensory perception on Tom
Scott: I plead the 21st
Tom: You plead the amendment abolishing prohibiton?
Good call…
Scott: I felt it was self explanatory
[August 12, 2009]
Tom: that too
Tom: random note:Why are my biceps getting bigger?
Andi: been doing curls for t3h g1rls?
Tom: nope
Tom: cleans for the teens
Tom: *feels dirty*
Andi: well yeah, doesn't that indicate that you've been curling the bar up instead of jumping it up?
Tom: possibly
Tom: I'm hoping not
Tom: on the other hand
Tom: if that's true then once I stop my clean should go through the roof
Andi: hehe
Tom: due to the inexorable fact that when the arms bend the power ends *solemn nod*
Tom: Manowar would not approve
Andi: they would definitely not let you borrow their body glitter, i know that much
Tom: *sigh*
Tom: *dreams of his own body glitter*
[August 14, 2009]
Tom: giant spiders are excellent at deadlifts
Scott: aww *feels for imminent dagger stabbing with left arm*
Andi: *feints*
Scott: *ripostes*
Andi: *parrys*
Scott: *lunges*
Andi: *faints*
:P
Scott: good, I was running out of fencing words
Scott: your idea for magnetic therapy sounds plausable
but I won't be convinced until you tell me it's extremely expensive and spiritual
Andi: it's also intensely painful
Scott: I NEED THIS!!11!!!
[August 17, 2009]
Steph: i'm sick of learning
i want more stabbing
Andi: http://www.inquisitr.com/33527/bizarre-hindu-transvestite-cult-spreading-in-india/
Tom: I can't WAIT for that to hit the states
Andi: wanna join?
Andi: you'd look pretty in a sari
Tom: the only issue being my atheism
Tom: besides I don't need a deity to get me to dress in drag
[August 18, 2009]
Andi: http://shirtless-superheroes.blogspot.com/
Andi: (from tom)
Steph: i feel very, very dirty
Tom: stop using facts!
You can use facts to prove anything that's even remotely true.
[August 19, 2009]
Scott: FUNCTIONS AS DESIGNED!!!! HAAAAAHAHAHAHA
*slips into madness*
(Steph Status: Sitting on the porch minding your own business is the #1 cause of knife wounds.)
(Scott Status: Sitting on my porch, minding my own business)
Steph: EPIC STAB
[August 28, 2009]
Daniel: yeah, it's weird to watch the Flinstones with the rape scenes put back in
[August 31, 2009]
Scott: you wouldn't happen to have a monkey's paw or something to I can use its magic to avoid going to work tomorrow?
Steph: no
and if i did
i wouldn't share
you should know that by now :)
Scott: well, it's a cursed object that does harm to the one you gift it to
that's why I figured you might be willing to hand one over
Steph: naw, that's a myth
that i started
so everyone would give me theirs
Scott: ahh
that is a good plan
so why is there no rumor about genie lamps?
I suppose that means that they must actually be cursed items
let me know if you come across one so I can gift it to someone k? =)
Steph: haha k
[September 1, 2009]
Tom: Dear dinosaur space god, I know I'm not the best follower. Sometimes I doubt you even exist. But please, give me a pony.
[September 11, 2009]
Andi: http://www.icenews.is/index.php/2009/09/11/finland-dominates-world-mobile-phone-throwing-competition/
Scott: *eye roll*
Andi: <3 finlandia
Scott: not for normal reasons
Andi: when i die, i want it to be in a penny-farthing racing accident
[September 18, 2009]
(to Andi)
Steph: yea, but i thought you at least had some basic urban survival skills
Steph: the first one being
Steph: if someone is armed with a flamethrower
Steph: they are not your friend
Steph: until they give you the flamethrower
Steph: then you can be friends
[September 24, 2009]
(Andi's status: Thinking of changing my title from "Assistant Product Manager" to "High Lord of the Dev Server")
Scott: *starts writing email*
Scott: Oh High Lord, who stands above us,
Scott: Please consider closing bug report #41131. It was the user's own fault.
Scott: -One who stands far beneath you
[September 25, 2009]
Scott: so with tomorrow's build the button will jiggle and blink
Scott: and by sunday it will work, but pop up an error message about the "WHAM Overheating"
Andi: actually by sunday it'll just kill the user. instantly.
Scott: *throws a bag of money at you*
Scott: I want six servers
Scott: how soon can we deploy!!
[September 29, 2009]
Myung: Its more a problem of no ladies, really.
I average less than 1 interest piqued PER YEAR.
Which means I pay taxes more often than I go on dates.
.
.
.
Andi: you could offer to do her taxes :P
Myung: Remember that whole creepy thing we were talking about?
Scott: damn, I've run out of internet
Andi: ….
Andi: what's it like at the end of the internet?
Scott: there's just some stupid post where someone wrote "FIRST!!!!111"
Tom's status: I am a fucking glorified taxi.
Myung: Tell me if you come across 14 year old Jodie Foster. Hawt.
Tom: Sadly I am just transporting mid 40's indian woman scientists.
Myung: Could you ask them to dress up like 14 year old Jodie Foster?
Tom: …
Tom: why do you say things I can't unhear/unread
[October 01, 2009]
Scott: I have this concept that differentiates stupidity and low intelligence
Scott: stupidity gets worse the more intelligent you are
Scott: because you're capable of doing dumb things on a larger scale
Scott: and with skill beyond the capabilities of others
[October 13, 2009]
Andrea: noooo! get it off! oh god!! *drowns in bureaucracy*
Steph: HI
I MAY OR MAY NOT HAVE HAD COFFEE
[October 16, 2009]
Steph: hate! must find hate button! will double-click for emphasis!
[October 19, 2009]
Tom: NASA totally should've launched me at the moon rather than some wussy rocket
Andi: hehe, operation Moon Punch
Tom: Moon SMASH
(3:44:22 PM) Christie Lee Blakley: someday
(3:45:13 PM) Christie Lee Blakley: maybe when you're fabulously wealthy you can invest in my bakery/bookstore/plant nursery/community center
(3:45:19 PM) Christie Lee Blakley: I'm sure it'll be very profitable
(3:45:24 PM) Christie Lee Blakley: at least morally
[October 28, 2009]
Scott: are we on the side of evil wizards with minions that look like potatoes?
Scott: probably
[October 29, 2009]
Tom: Personally I find your thoughtful confrontation of important human themes offensive and profane
[November 03, 2009]
Scott: it's the usual problem
Scott: we don't want innovation
Scott: we want to make a lot of money
[November 04, 2009]
(Andi's status: Thinking of becoming a freelance pagoda designer.)
Scott: umm
have you ever designed a pagoda?
Andi: does that actually matter?
Scott: yes, it means I can join you as a partner
Andi: ahhhh
sounds good to me
Scott: full time pagoda repairman
[November 5, 2009]
Andi's status: Raising polecats for peace.
Myung's status: Is destroying polecats for strife.
Scott's status: Thinks polecats should just be called weasels
Steph's status: Weasels for Peace!
[November 9, 2009]
Steph: black fur gets all over red cloaks
and I'm sure Satan has excellent fashion sense and would not appreciate shedding demon dogs
Andi: satan is metrosexual?
Steph: well it's hard to tempt people to sin when you look like a hobo
Scott: also
http://www.w3.org/TR/xhtml2/#toc
there is a table of contents
but it's too long
so there is a "quick table of contents"
which sounds suspiciously like "a table of table of contents"
[November 10, 2009]
Scott: my tea is shrinking as it cools down
*eyes Andi with suspicion*
Andi: *hides enormously long straw*
Scott: …
….
*fails to come up with response to that*
Scott: I'll get you next time Gadget!
Andi: …
if you're going to be an evil villain, you'll have to get a cat, you know
Scott: nah, Dr Claw was too needy
he had trouble with the criticism of his peers, and could only keep the company of animals who enjoyed sinister laughs
Andi: so his highly specialized field is… counting cars? :P
Steph: yes
i'm hoping that one day one will become a transformer
[November 12, 2009]
Tom: My foot hurts!
Socialize medicine now!
Tom: An hour of my life
gone
It could have been spent doing something valuable
Like constructing a business card henge
[November 13, 2009]
Scott: it's clear that I need to don a cape, bowler hat and woo women by quoting bad poetry
with the slight downside of causing lethal laughter in Steph
Andi: if you do that, you need a silver-topped cane too
and a monocle
curly mustache optional
Scott: *slams fist on table*
it is not optional!
Myung: I have come to the horrible discovery.
That pita chips are just salted hardtack
[November 23, 2009]
Myung: Cute girl at work just used srsly and inorite in an aim conversation…. AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!
[November 24, 2009]
Tom: Also I used OkCupids new "icebreaker" option (it finds someone with a decent match percentage and tells you one interest that you share)
Tom: It found me someone interested in pirates
Tom: So I sent them Alestorm and this is what I got back
Tom: "Thanks but Im not big on Heavy metal"
Andi: ……..
Andi: how…
Andi: what….
Andi: HOWCOULDYOULIKEPIRATESANDNOTHEAVYMETAL??!!
Andi: *brain asplodes*
Andi: :)
Tom: What's sad is that my immediate thought was "Well, if you're not into metal. Then you are not my friend."
Andi: bahahahahaha
Tom: BUT SHE WON'T GET THE REFERENCE!!!!
[December 02, 2009]
Scott: cool, I think I sent management into a panicked discussion
[December 04, 2009]
Tom: You cannot escape the Tomliness
You are within my event horizon
[December 05, 2009]
Scott: I never get to join in on the cool evil plans
*sniff*
Andi: nonsense. i just don't want to destroy the universe before i have a chance to play brutal legend for a few minutes
Scott: aww
Andi wants to hit things with an axe
while listening to heavy metal music
I am deeply moved
Andi: is there ever a time when andi *doesn't* want to hit things with an axe while listening to heavy metal music?
Scott: *draws venn diagram of two overlapping ovals labeled "hammers" and "axes"*
sometimes you lean toward hammers, sometimes axes and sometimes either is fine
Andi: swords
don't forget swords
swords are a sometimes-weapon
Scott: hahahaha
Andi: just like cookies are a sometimes-food
Scott: aww
cookie monster drove you to violence? he'd be so happy
so happy that he'd eat his cruel masters that deny him cookies
[January 11, 2010]
Scott: Tom: Why the fuck are you quoting Willy Wonka??
Scott: =)
Andi: hahahahahaha
because willy wonka is infinitely quotable?
Scott: if it annoyed Tom, it was more than successful as a quote
[February 1, 2010]
Andi: i think steph's printer has gotten possessed
again.
[February 8, 2010]
Tom: [Person] is trying to explain our isotope data to a client
This will not end well
…
Tom: Well he seems to have successfully spun shit into gold
Now [generic pharma company] has to guess his real name or marry him
[February 19, 2010]
Steph: it's got that nice mix of ambiguity and violence. i like it.
Scott: that is sort-of the case due to the brain doing things in parallel
one part of the brain can do one thing while another part does something else
important for keeping heart beating
otherwise my heart would stop whenever I get confused and think too hard
Andi: *passes out while doing calculus*
Scott: =)
that's unrelated
Scott: calculus has a noble purpose
it makes you realize you don't want to be a math major
Andrea: you are ruining my productivity by continuously saying infinitely quotable phrases
Andrea: omg pancakes
[March 16, 2010]
Scott: so as for the spreadsheet
Scott: I've found what makes excel slow is having to use the result of a result of a result if you have each column calculated independently it goes faster, even if the equations are longer
Andi: ah
Andi: not really doing that though. my formulas are looking at every cell in a 5*300 table. unfortunately i have 4x300 formulas like that :P
Scott: so 4x300x5x300?
Scott: that's a pretty big number
Andi: :D
Andi: i like big numbers and i cannot lie
Scott: you can do better though
Scott: I have faith if your spreadsheet and rap parody skills
[March 17, 2010]
Scott: I FORGOT MY LUNCH
STOP EVERYTHING
[March 24, 2010]
Mike: Woo! Give a Steph a phish and she'll be mad. Teach a Steph to phish and don't go online anymore.
[April 02, 2010]
Steph: you're going to be demoted to sub-soul eater if you keep up like this
stuck eating the souls of republicans
and we all know how unfulfilling THOSE souls are….
Steph: they're like the tapas of the underworld - their bitterness can give an interesting flavor, but at the end of the day it's never enough :(
[April 08, 2010]
Scott: this one time, I used calculus at work!
exciting!!
I got rid of a for loop
:)
[April 15, 2010]
Andi: http://bash.org/?453043
Scott: mmm, read similar jokes
Scott: I still need to found www.girlsdoinghomework.com
Scott: something not yet taken
[April 16, 2010]
Scott: Andi enjoys being a member of the more terrifying sex
Scott: *nods* makes sense
[April 29, 2010]
Andi: *plays with string*
Scott: STRING!
Scott: *fights over it*
[May 4, 2010]
Steph: i made a sandwich and it's a good 3/4 pickle
the rest of it is like an elaborate edible pickle-holding device
[May 27, 2010]
Scott: oooh what a good kraken you are!
Scott: *pets kraken*
Scott: yes you are
[June 8, 2010]
Andi: although i'm pretty sure he could sell ice to eskimos even if he had no idea what "ice" was
Scott: it doesn't matter what ice is. what matters is that it helps build core synergy and drives corporate efficiency to the next level, using best practices
[June 11, 2010]
Andi: ohdeargodno!
Scott: I know
I'm just incredibly evil like that
Andi: it's Friday! you can't be that evil on a Friday!
Scott: if I did it on Tuesday you'd beat me to death with a 2x4
Andi: well yeah
i'm only not beating you with a 2x4 now because i didn't want to get my casual hawaiian shirt covered in blood
Scott: and in my last moments, I would gaze up at you, and think that you need a hair cut
[June 24, 2010]
Scott: i have compared twilight to japanese dating games
instead of maids, shrine maidens and so on, you have werewolves and the undead
"theme costume" + attractive people + vague plot
Andi: hahahahaha
i'm sure it has been done by now
Scott: undead in dating game… I'm not even going to check
you're probably right
Andi: hahaha zombie dating game
Likes: brains, smashing things, looking for brains, eating brains
Dislikes: shotguns, cricket bats
Scott: hahahahahaha…
wow, stop making this sound like a good idea
[July 28, 2010]
Andi: *offers scott guns in the shape of cookies and cookies in the shape of guns*
Scott: *dies in failed bank robbery after attempting to mow down the police with a cookie*
Andi: HAHAHAHAHA
Andi: you made me actually lol at work, now everyone is wondering what's so funny
Scott: and you'll never explain it successfully
[August 06, 2010]
Steph: passion can be exciting
Steph: iz like peppa
Steph: on the fried egg of life
Andi: hehehe
Andi: mmmm, peppered egg
Steph: yup
Steph: the trick is to make sure it's not runny
Andi: runny yolk is the best though
Andi: it's the fun-of-getting-messy in the fried egg of life
Steph: true, very true
Steph: as long as you have toast to soak it up
Steph: mmm toast
Andi: omg yes
Andi: if the fried egg is life, what is the toast?
Steph: DOOM
Andi: HAHAHAHA
Steph: SILLY HATS
